Question of David, The: A Disabled Mother’s Journey Through Adoption, Family, & Life. Denise Sherer Jacobson. 1998. Creative Arts Book Co. I’m Denise Sherer Jacobson. In 1987, my husband, Neil, a computer architect, and I had the chance to adopt a six-week-old infant who might have a disability. A difficult question for any couple, but even more complex for us, because we too, have cerebral palsy. I’ve woven my parenting story with a rich tapestry of childhood flashbacks, growing up in the 1950s and 60s with a significant disability. I hope as you read and learn about me, you will celebrate the aspects in each of us that are the same, as well as different. This is my first book. You may know my work from anthologies, The Adoption Reader: Birth Mothers, Adoptive Mothers, and Adopted Daughters Tell Their Stories or Prejudice: Stories About Hate, Ignorance, Revelation, and Transformation. Susan Wadia-Ells, The Adoption Reader editor says, “Sherer Jacobson’s beautifully written memoir carries us to the deep roots of motherhood and what it means to love another person...” Feminist author Sandy Boucher says, “Sherer Jacobson’s writing touches the tender nerve of truth: it sings an honest, passionate song, and occasionally takes off in ironic pirouettes. Her prose resonates with intelligence and love; her vision is energized by her search for justice.” Enjoy my book. Share it with family, friends and your book club. Thank you. — Denise Sherer Jacobson

Raising Adopted Children: A Manual For Adoptive Parents. Lois Melina. 1986. 288p. Harper & Row. Adoption practices have evolved considerably since this book’s first publication in 1986, and the new version of the “Dr. Spock for adoptive parents” reflects the latest theories. Drawing on the findings and practices of pediatricians, social workers, scientists, and adoptive parents, Raising Adopted Children is carefully and thoroughly researched. Chapters on open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption are combined with advice on bonding and attachment, breast-feeding an adoptive infant (possible but complicated), dealing with schools, privacy issues, adopting a child with disabilities, adopting as a single parent, and the challenges of adolescence. While Melina’s many years of professional and personal experience shape her advice, she remains very evenhanded. For example, she’s a strong proponent of the “early telling” theory of adoption (being open about the adoption with the child from the beginning), but she also clearly presents other points of view, and, throughout the book, encourages parents to make decisions that feel right for them. The text includes specific suggestions for explaining a child’s birth circumstances, including common misconceptions, and a valuable discussion about whether adoptees are at greater risk for behavior problems or learning disabilities. She also provides suggestions for setting rules for contact with biological parents, easing grief, and acknowledging a child’s history. A completely annotated list of selected references and resources rounds out this superior guide. — Ericka Lutz

Raising Our Children’s Children. Deborah Doucette-Dudman & Jeffrey R LaCure. 1996. 237p. Fairview Press. Although grandparents as parents are becoming more and more common, our society does not understand all the issues involved. Here grandparent/journalist Deborah Doucette-Dudman and family therapist Jeffrey LaCure explore the social, legal, and emotional issues faced by grandparents as parents, such as custody battles, housing issues, and prior mistreatment of the children. By the same author (LaCure): Adopted Like Me & Remembering: Reflections of Growing Up Adopted. Other books on the same subject: Grandparents as Parents: A Survival Guide for Raising a Second Family.

Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter. Nelson Handel. Foreword by Carole LieberWilkins, MA. 2001. 182p. Easternedge Press. Every “Dear Birthmother” letter should be unique, individual, and personal to the family writing it. But it’s hard to write about yourself and even harder to reveal yourself to strangers. Reaching Out provides tips, strategies, and methods to tap into the personal material that will make your letter special. Written by a professional journalist (and adoptive father), this book will help you to speak your heart authentically, clearly, and with impact. This book is also available on CD-ROM to read directly on your computer screen.

Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child. Holly Van Gulden & Lisa M Bartels-Rabb. 1993. 279p. Crossroad Publishing Co. Real Parents, Real Children offers insight into how adopted children commonly think and feel about being adopted. It explains how and why adopted children grieve for their birth parents and suggests ways that adoptive parents can help them to come to a healthy resolution of this grief. This book offers confidence and assurance, as well as sought-after answers to lifelong questions.

Realities of Adoption, The. Jerome Smith. 1997. 112p. Madison Books. Social worker and professor Jerome Smith examines the many controversies associated with adoption practice. Using examples from the 100s of cases he has worked on, Smith discusses issues such as openness in adoption, the role of the birth father, transracial adoption, and children’s rights.

Reflections of Love: An Adoptive Parent’s Keepsake Journal. Hobby House Press, Editor. 2001. 112p. Hobby House Press. Thoughts and memories of our family are the cornerstone of who we are, what we aspire to become and what we hold true in our lives. One looks to scrapbooks and journals in order to relive these moments. Reflections of Love is a special journal tailored to suit the needs of parents who adopt children rather than giving birth, and yet allows them to express their hopes, dreams, fears and aspirations that are common to all parents. What an exciting moment in one’s life – when a family grows by the beautiful addition of a child. The preparations that are made for the child’s arrival, the first time you laid eyes on the precious child that will call you “Mom” or “Dad,” and a world of other “firsts” that will be coming your way will be celebrated in this keepsake journal. Parents will reflect on their childhood, transcribe the events of the present, and look to the promise of the future while building an incredible and loving life with their new son or daughter. This beautifully illustrated keepsake is the perfect journal for adoptive parents everywhere!

Refuge Ranch: A Story for His Glory. Bonnie Walker. 2008. 152p. In His Steps Publishing. To Bonnie Walker, it was a dream birthed in the heart of a little country girl from Georgia. Her burning desire was to raise a big happy family of her own. But no one guessed just how big, how unique, and how far-reaching that family would be. She married her childhood sweetheart and gave birth to three beautiful daughters. She was happy and eager for more blessings when the dark storm clouds of life rolled in: four miscarriages followed, unending surgeries, no more biological babies. Her God-given vision suddenly seemed to have been mercifully ripped from her. But God’s plan wasn’t thwarted! Her barren womb wasn’t an obstacle. Instead, it became a vehicle that introduced her to the desperate, the broken and the helpless. After God’s gentle nudging, she adopted little ones that nobody wanted, children who had been abused, abandoned and neglected. With open arms, she and her husband embraced not just one, but eighteen children who needed a refuge, a permanent home. They both created REFUGE RANCH and this is their story of what God can use average, faithful Christians to do for His Glory!

Related by Adoption: A Handbook for Grandparents & Other Relatives. Heidi Argent, with contributions from Kate Cairns, Joyce Stanway & Eric Stanway. 2004. 70p. British Association for Adoption & Fostering. If your son or daughter is planning to adopt a child (or children), this brief handbook gives grandparents-to-be and other relatives information about adoption today that will directly affect you. This includes the need today for a more open approach to adoption and information about the children who need to be adopted—rarely the babies of earlier times but children with pasts and families, and who may be damaged by earlier abuse and neglect. The author discusses how the wider family can support building a family through adoption and can be involved in both the good and the bad times that inevitably occur in family life. Hedi Argent is herself a grandmother and adoption trainer. She writes from the heart, using many real-life quotes and stories of adopted children and their relatives to bring the book to life. One chapter has been jointly written by a parent of a family group of 15 children (Kate Cairns), now a grandmother, and her own parents (Joyce and Eric Stanway), now great-grandparents to the children. The book finishes with an endpiece ’what can you do?’ and there is a list of useful organisations and suggestions for further reading. It will make an ideal gift for close family members of new or prospective adoptive parents.

Rosie: Rosie O’Donnell’s Biography. James Robert Parish. 1997. 288p. Carroll & Graf Publishers. James Robert Parish delivers the first ever biography of Rosie O’Donnell in the matter-of-fact tone of a seasoned entertainment journalist. Rosie O’Donnell’s Biography is a comprehensive story of this dynamic woman’s life on both the public and private fronts. Parish digs deep to provide background on Rosie’s tragic early years when, as a young child, she lost her mother, to the triumphant adoption of her son in 1995. He follows her career too as it developed from the comedy clubs and into television appearances that paved the way to Rosie’s success in films and her own wildly successful TV talk show. Throughout the book, Parish skillfully reveals the humanity of this complex star. He dedicates the biography to its subject, “New Queen of All Things.” And after reading the book, it is clear the term is nearly apt, for O’Donnell clearly is queen of many things: acting, comedy, parenting, friendship and honesty.

S.A.F.E. at School: Support for Adoptive Families by Educators, A Manual for Teachers & Counselors. Marilyn Schoettle. 2003. 82p. S.A.F.E. at School presents five proactive strategies to help teachers and counselors create a positive adoption environment in school: Acceptance, Accuracy, Assignments, Assistance, and Advocacy. Background material is included on: adoption today, unique educational needs of some students, and how students at all ages are likely to comprehend the complexities of adoption. Guidelines and examples are provided to improve communication about adoption while protecting the privacy of personal adoption stories.S.A.F.E. is a complete—but simple—tool for addressing the complex topic of adoption in any school.

Safe Passage: A Summary of the “Parent 2 Parent” Mentoring Program. Richard J Delaney, PhD. Illustrated by Terry McNerney. 2000. 114p. Wood N Brnes. Parent 2 Parent outlines a mentoring program piloted in the state of Montana. This booklet is a companion guide to the Parent 2 Parent video, together they are used to help educate those entering the program. Safe Passage was written for use by both the parents and caseworkers. Acting as a post-adoptive, post-placement support service, Parent 2 Parent pairs veteran foster or adoptive parents with novice foster or adoptive parents. Its purpose is to provide support, advice and a sounding board for the new families. Its objective is to stabilize the placement, to overcome isolation, engender hope and provide a safe passage for the child and family. About the Author: Rick Delaney maintains private practice offices in Colorado and Montana. His many years of practical, direct treatment with emotionally disturbed children inlcludes a respected practice in counseling attachment-disordered foster children and their adoptive families. Rick is a consultant to the Casey Family Program, Lutheran Family Services, and to various county departments of social services. He is nationally recognized as an insightful, constructive and creative presenter, trainer and clinician.

Salute to Sandy. Dale Evans Rogers. 1967. 117p. Fleming H. Revell. The story of the Rogers’ adoption of a handicapped child & his influence on them.

Saving Adam. L Smith. 2001. 63p. Cedar Fort. My name is Adam. I was trained to keep silent and still. As children around me played games–I watched. As they studied and learned–I colored pictures. I never knew my parents. I was told I had siblings, but I doubt they knew I existed. The Government became my parent as I bounced among foster homes. I figured this was a normal life. I was kept busy coloring pictures with crayons. My physical needs were met but my soul ached for nourishment. At some point the normalcy I was born with began to ebb. My future was denied. I was figuratively chained and locked away from the world just as though I had been banished to a dungeon. The “retarded” label was placed upon me until I found the key to that dungeon–or more accurately, the key found me.

Saving the Lost Children. Sandra Longmore. 2003. 112p. Buy Books on the Web.Com. Sandy and Butch Longmore have taken care of more than 150 children in their 39 year marriage. They have four children of their own and have adopted six more. From the day Butch picked up little AJ in a blizzard, shepherding him to their home where he found love, safety and security, to the many poignant and funny moments with other children. Readers will find a story that is touching, amusing, frightening, and sad all at once. This is a must-read manual for those considering becoming foster parents, current foster parents and caseworkers, alike. Longmore does not mince words about what is wrong and also, what is right about the foster care system.

Secrets to Writing a Treasured Adoption Lifebook. Beth O’Malley. 2000. 20p. Are you looking for guidance in creating a lifebook for your baby or child? This booklet gives a page-by-page description of all the information that you’ll want to include, starting with a birthday page and ending with one (or more!) pages for cute baby stories. There is also information about choosing a binder, the type of paper to use, and how to decorate the pages. Secrets to Writing a Treasured Adoption Lifebook will help you create a bridge between your child’s baby book and picture albums to produce a treasured family heirloom.

Should You Adopt?. Christine Moriarty Field. 1997. Fleming H Revell Company. The decision to adopt a child involves many personal, legal, and emotional issues. Former attorney and adoptive parent Christine Field helps readers sort through the legal concerns and questions prospective adoptive parents have.

Small Town, Big Miracle: How Love Came to the Least of These. WC Martin. 2007. 168p. Focus on the Family Publishing. On one memorable day, while Bishop W. C. Martin and his wife, Donna, were in prayer together, God gave them a one-word message: “Adopt!” They were called to carry out literally James 1:27: “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans ... in their affliction.” Over the next five years, the Martins would adopt four kids, including two with special needs. And though they didn’t make adoption a “cause” at that time, the members of their church of 200 soon caught the same vision. The church has now adopted 72 children and counting. Includes an eight-page black-and-white photo insert.

Small Worlds: Adopted Sons, Pet Piranhas, & Other Mortal Concerns. Robert Klose. 2006. 176p. University of Missouri Press. For 20 years, readers of The Christian Science Monitor have enjoyed the musings of Robert Klose, whose graceful prose and engaging voice have brought to life a variety of human-interest subjects. Here, readers will find memorable stories about Klose’s life: his childhood pet piranha, his love of the clarinet, his attempts to learn Polish. He shares touching moments of his experience raising adopted sons, from his first encounter with Alyosha in a Russian orphanage (see Adopting Alyosha, 1999) to counseling six-year-old Anton about puppy love. Small Worlds is a deft blending of wisdom and whimsy, a celebration of the art of the essay that lovers of fine writing are sure to enjoy. About the Author: Robert Klose is a native of New Jersey but has been living in Maine since 1981. He teaches biology at University College of Bangor. He is the single father of two adoptive sons, from Russia and Ukraine, and a regular contributor of essays to The Christian Science Monitor. His work has also appeared in Newsweek, The Boston Globe, Reader’s Digest, Exquisite Corpse, and elsewhere. He is a four-time winner of the Maine Press Association’s annual award for opinion writing.

So You Want to Adopt... Now What?: A Practical Guide for Navigating the Adoption Process. Ruth Graham & Sara R Dorman, PhD. 2006. 160p. Regal Books. Are you considering adoption? Read this first! Let Ruth Graham and Sara Dormon help you navigate the tempestuous rollercoaster ride of the adoption journey. Step by step, they will guide you through the legal, financial and practical aspects of the adoption process. You’ll gain a realistic picture of what adoption means—the joys, the fears, the stresses, the disappointments and the happy moment when a child is put in your arms. Graham and Dormon will prepare you for the spiritual, emotional and mental aspects of adoption with practical tips and the wisdom of their experiences. They also share personal, heartfelt stories from the viewpoints of the birth mother, adoptive parents and others involved in the process that lend helpful perspective. About the Authors: Sara Dormon, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist specializing in women’s issues and crisis pregnancies. For the past 25 years, she has worked with young women and their families as they deal with unplanned pregnancies. Sara has been interviewed on television and radio, covering the issues of teen pregnancy, abortion and adoption. Ruth Graham, the daughter of evangelist Billy Graham, is an author and national speaker on unplanned pregnancy. Because of her daughter’s two teenaged pregnancies, Ruth has traveled extensively, sharing about her daughter’s and her experiences in order to help young women and their families through similar hardships. Ruth is currently on the board of Birthmothers (r) a non-profit, para-church organization that provides confidential, non-judgmental assistance to any woman facing an unplanned pregnancy.

So You Want to Be a Foster Parent—What Do You Want to Do That For?. Suzanne Grummell & Tom Grummell. 2009. 316p. BookSurge Publishing. Guidance from one foster parent to another: navigating the system to provide a caring and protective environment for the children you will grow to love. 20% of the sale of each book will be donated to the Daisy’s Eye Cancer Fund to help families access essential life and sight saving treatment for their children who are affected by retinoblastoma eye cancer. About the Authors: Tom and Suzanne have been foster parents since 1983, have two, adult sons and have adopted two little girls. They continue to be involved in advocating for life skills programs in their city and speak to the importance of transition and continuity for our children as they move from one home to another.

Something Happened. Mildred Cable & Francesca French. 1934. 320p. Hodder & Stoughton (London). The first-hand account of the adoption by the women missionaries Mildred Cable and Francesca and Evangeline French, of a Mongolian girl named Topsy, which caught the attention of the western media.

Stepfamilies: A Catholic Guide. Paul J Cullen. 1988. 160p. Our Sunday Visitor.

Step-Parent Adoptions: A Self-Help Guide to Legally Adopting Your Step-Children. Vivienne Nerys Blown. 1987. ISC Press (Canada).

Stepparent Adoptions in Colorado. Linda Rediger. 2002. 32p. Bradford Publishing Company.

Success as a Foster Parent: Everything You Need to Know About Foster Care. National Foster Parent Association, with Rachel GreeneBaldino MSW, LCSW. 2009. 272p. Alpha. Over 600,000 American children are in the foster care system each year—and the number is growing. So is the number of good-hearted people willing to become foster parents. But what does it take to become a foster parent? How does one begin? What about your own family? What does it cost? Success as a Foster Parent has the answers to these basic questions and much more. Written by Rachel Greene Baldino, M.S.W., in association with the National Foster Parent Association, it is the first and only commercially available book to clearly explain the process of becoming a foster parent. Readers will learn:
•   The questions to ask before making the decision to be a foster caregiver
•   How to research local state and private agencies
•   The financial cost and the compensation
•   The challenges involved in caring for children from infants to teens, including physically and psychologically challenged kids
•   Issues relating to schools, birth parents, supervisory visits, vacations, and dozens of other factors
•   All about adoption
In addition to concrete information, there are dozens of moving stories drawn from interviews with veteran foster parents and tips about caregiving. About the Authors: National Foster Parent Association is a nonprofit volunteer organization established to meet the needs of foster families in the United States. Today, NFPA has grown from an original group of 926 foster parents, 210 social workers, and 59 other professionals to an organization that represents thousands of foster families nationwide. Rachel Greene Baldino, M.S.W., L.C.S.W., writes a relationship column for a health and wellness website. She is the author of the e-book Loving Simply: Eliminating Drama from Your Intimate Relationships and coauthor of The Complete Idiot’s Guide® to Enhancing Sexual Desire.

Successful Adoption: A Guide for Christian Families. Natalie N Gillespie. 2006. 416p. Integrity Publishers. Successful Adoption brings a practical and spiritual view of adoption. Topics include: types of adoption, where to begin, necessary paperwork, finances required—and how to raise funds, listing of reputable adoption agencies, building strong bonds with an adopted child, when and how to tell a child she is adopted, the long-term effects of adoption, and God’s blessing through adoption. Book includes practical checklists, timelines, real life stories, sample documents, phone numbers and web-addresses. Successful Adoption also includes real-life stories from families who have adopted, including: Steven and Mary Beth Chapman, Rita Springer, Karen Kingsbury and Donna Van Liere.

Successful Adoption: A Guide to Finding a Child & Raising a Family. Jacqueline Honor Plumez. 1982. 234p. Harmony Books; revised edition. 1987. 256p. Crown. Successful Adoption is a comprehensive book for would-be adoptive parents, encompassing virtually all aspects of the process, from making contact with a potential birth mother, agency and independent adoptions, foreign adoptions, and adopting a special-needs child to post-adoption issues.

Supporting an Adoption. Pat Holmes. 1986. 28p. Our Child Press. Sometimes wanting to do or say the right thing isn’t enough. Written for friends and relatives, this book explains how they can be sensitive and helpful to the prospective or current adoptive family. It includes a one-page summary on how to support an adoption, both pre- and post-placement. It is a good tool to help others understand the adoption process. Supporting an Adoption is a book for those who care.

Swings Hanging from Every Tree: Daily Inspiration & Reflections for Foster/Adoptive Parents. Susan Stone. 2000. 370p. Wood N Barnes. A sensitive collection of encouraging and inspiring words and experiences from and for foster and adoptive parents, and those who care for them and their families. Words of advice, validation, blessing and grace that we all need to hear on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis. Words to help us start out our day with a positive attitude or get back on a more positive track when things have gone crazy. The right words from someone who knows or has been where you are can bring confidence, a sense of calm, a smile or even laughter.

Talking to Your Child About Adoption. Patricia M Dorner. Illustrated by Robert Eberhardt & Bob Censoni. 1991. 28p. Schaefer Publishing Company. This book is designed to acquaint pre-adoptive families and those new to adoption issues with the important questions that children will need to resolve as they grow up. Taking a developmental approach, the book begins with infancy and progresses through the teen years. For each stage, it has suggestions on talking to your child about adoption. The emphasis of this book is that communication about adoption is an ongoing process. By the Same Auhtor: How to Open an Adoption and Children of Open Adoption.

Talking With Young Children About Adoption. Mary Watkins, PhD & Susan Fischer, MD. 1993. 256p. Yale University Press. Current wisdom holds that adoptive parents should talk with their children about adoption as early as possible. But it’s often hard to know what to say and when to say it. How do children respond to the concept of adoption? How do they incorporate adoption into their make-believe play? What worries do they have? This book, for parents of children ages two to ten, answers these questions, and many more. It provides wonderful insights into the process of Talking With Young Children About Adoption.

Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past. Jayne E Schooler & Betsy E Keefer. 2000. 248p. Bergin & Garvey. “Do I have to tell my adopted child the truth?” This is a question that faces every adoptive parent. Filling a much-needed gap in the adoption literature regarding communication with adopted children, Telling the Truth to Your Foster-Adopted Child provides parents with the important knowledge of why adopted children need to know the truth about their past. The authors offer practical guidelines and tools parents can use in communicating with their children the circumstances of their past. The book presents the developmental stages of how children understand adoption and what needs to be said to a child age appropriately. The authors suggest how to share with children the painful and difficult issues regarding their circumstances, birth family and background. The goal is to provide a gateway into life as emotionally and psychologically healthy adults, with solid foundations for identity and self-esteem. By the Same Author: Searching for a Past: The Adopted Adult’s Unique Process of Finding Identity (1995); Journeys After Adoption: Understanding Lifelong Issues, with Betsie L. Norris (2002); and Mom, Dad... I’m Pregnant: When Your Daughter or Son Faces an Unplanned Pregnancy (2004).

That Place Called Home: A Sister of Mercy, My Daughter, & the Journey of a Lifetime. Sr Mary Ann LoGiudice, RSM, with Paul Grondahl. Foreword by Eunice Kennedy Shriver. 2000. 186p. Charis Books. That Place Called Home is a first person account of a Sister of Mercy who was allowed by her order to adopt an orphaned baby. That the child was diagnosed as HIV+ makes the story even more special. The book is an extraordinarily inspiring account of motherhood, and reveals how, in our search for love and belonging, we may end up finding family in the most unexpected places. About the Authors: Sister Mary Ann LoGiudice is executive of Community Maternity Services – an agency for pregnant teenagers under the Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Albany, New York. She was one of the first nuns to adopt a child, not to mention that the child was HIV positive. Sister Mary Ann is a member of the Sisters of Mercy and she lives in Albany, NY. Paul Grondahl is a feature writer for the Albany Times Union in Albany, New York and author of Mayor Corning, A Political Biography. His features have received numerous local, state, and national journalism awards. He resides in Albany, NY with his wife and two young children. Paul Grondahl is a feature writer for the Albany Times Union in Albany, New York and author of Mayor Corning, A Political Biography. His features have received numerous local, state, and national journalism awards. He resides in Albany, NY with his wife and two young children.

There Are Babies to Adopt: A Resource Guide For Prospective Parents. Christine A Adamec. 1996. NAL Dutton. The world of adoption has changed considerably in the years since the original version of this book was published. What hasn’t changed, though, is that the process of adoption can often be fraught with confusion, frustration and disappointment. There are many adoption decisions to make—agency or independent, domestic or international, open or confidential, infant or older child, healthy or special needs? This completely revised and updated edition provides would-be adoptive parents with all the information they need (including an extensive state-by-state list of agencies, lawyers, support groups and adoption laws) to make the adoption choices that are right for them.

There Is No Me Without You: One Woman’s Odyssey to Rescue Africa’s Children. Melissa Fay Greene. 2006. 480p. Bloomsbury. There Is No Me Without You is the story of Haregewoin Tefarra, a middle-aged Ethiopian woman of modest means whose home has become a refuge for hundreds of children orphaned by AIDS. It is a story as much about the power of the bond between children and parents as about the epidemic that every year leaves millions of children, mostly healthy themselves, without family. Originally a middle-class woman with a happy family life, Haregewoin fell into a deep depression after the death of her recently married daughter. But then a priest brought her two children, AIDS orphans, with nowhere to go. Unexpectedly, the children thrived, and Haregewoin found herself drawn back into daily life. As word got out, an endless stream of children began to arrive at her door, delivered by dying parents and other relatives who begged for her help, and, pushing against the limits of her home and bank account, she took more and more in. Today, Haregewoin runs a school, a daycare system, and a shelter for sick mothers. Without medication for her charges—some HIV-positive, some uninfected, and some infants trying to fight off the virus, but almost all of whom come to her terrified and malnourished—she forges on, caring for as many as she can handle. Increasingly, she also places them for adoption with families like that of journalist Melissa Fay Greene, who has two children adopted from Ethiopia. In Haregewoin Tefarra’s story, Greene gives us an astonishing portrait of a woman fighting a continent-wide epidemic. About the Author: Melissa Fay Greene, award-winning author of Praying for Sheetrock, The Temple Bombing, and Last Man Out, relates a tale that captures the tragedy of an international epidemic and the remarkable people inventing ways to care for its victims. Her Dec. 2002 New York Times Magazine piece on the plight of the AIDS orphans inspired scores of adoptions and generated tens of thousands of dollars for the underfunded orphanages of Africa. She has seven children, including two adopted from Ethiopia, and lives in Atlanta.

Thicker Than Water: South African Adoption Stories & Resource Guide. Rebecca Kahn. 2006. New Holland Publishing, Ltd. Thicker Than Water is a moving collection of stories from 12 different South Africans who have lived through the experience of adoption, either as adoptees or as part of a family who have chosen to adopt. With honesty, insight and humour they open up about the joys and sorrow, the prejudice and the pride that they live with as they build their own unique lives and families. Proving that there is no such thing as an “ordinary” family, these stories are also a testament to the overwhelming love that develops between members of a family, whether they share a bond of blood or not. With a comprehensive resource section offering all the information anyone interested in adoption or finding their birth family may need, Thicker Than Water is not only a collection of real stories, but also an invaluable resource that, until now, has not been available in one comprehensive and heart warming book. About the Author: Rebecca Kahn is a freelance writer and journalist who lives in Johannesburg. She’s currently working on her M.A. in Journalism at Wits University.

Till There Was You: An Adoption Expectancy Journal. Rebecca Lyn Gold. Photographs by Pamela Sardinha. 1998. 200p. Pineapple Press. Till There Was You: An Adoption Expectancy Journal is a beautiful, one-of-a-kind keepsake journal for those expecting a child through adoption. Not just a memory maker, but also a compilation of thought-provoking passages from adoptive parents, as well as a therapist’s insights during each stage of an “adoption pregnancy.” With separate sections organized in meaningful categories, there is ample space to record your own thoughts and feelings on each topic. With sensitive text and touching photos, Till There Was You will help prepare your heart and inspire you to create your own journal of exploration.

Tiny Titan. Ann Yurcek. 2006. 480p. Better Endings New Beginnings. Tiny Titan by Ann Yurcek launches a new kind of Mother’s Day story for all the countless mothers in America who dedicate their lives to exceptional children with special medical and mental health care needs. The story and the children are real. In 1989, the Yurceks sixth child, Becca, was born with a rare genetic disorder, and while she struggled to survive, her family tumbled into poverty. This is the true and inspirational story of their journey out of poverty and the many miracles they received along the way. In the spirit of giving back, they adopted and reunited five siblings separated in foster care. And for their new children they fought for resources in mental health and child welfare with the same tenacity they had fought for Becca in the medical world. Other’s said their journey was impossible, but they proved them wrong.

To Be a Mother: Adopting God’s Heart. Deanna Jones. 2009. 216p. Outskirts Press. When a woman chooses abortion, the lingering psychological effects can be devastating. Deanna Jones, author of To Be a Mother, knows too well the grief and guilt that can haunt these women. As a teenager, an abortion seemed the only answer for Deanna, but the decision caused her great pain afterward. Finally, by opening her heart to Jesus Christ, she was able to transcend her grief and forgive herself. Her memoir, published by Outskirts Press, is a story of hope that will resonate with many women, and inspire all who read it. Deanna Jones found herself pregnant at the age of 19. In an unstable relationship, and with a musical career starting to take off, she decided she was not ready for motherhood. “No way,” she said. “This is my life, my body.” And so she made an appointment at a local clinic. But she was not prepared for the overwhelming despair that would result. After the abortion she was left with a feeling of emptiness and loss. “Legalized abortion denied me a beautiful gift from God,” she says. “The desperation post-abortion far outweighed the desperation during my brief, unplanned pregnancy, and I was so off balance that I felt as if I would never be able to hold onto anything ever again. A part of me was missing and I would never get it back.” There is a happy ending, however. To Be a Mother is not focused on Deanna’s loss, but rather, it is a story of redemption, resurrection, God’s grace, and His extravagant blessings. Deanna found that by facing her actions and calling out to the true Father, she would be transformed, forgiven, and enlivened. With the Lord by her side, she was able to move from a difficult childhood and a painful abortion decision to the miraculous redemption of Christ and the healing joy that came from the birth and adoption of her six children. This true story shows us firsthand that God is compassionate, illustrating the relentless nature of His pursuit to save and claim His children and allow them life everlasting. The Bible declares that the Lord will turn our mourning into gladness and our despair into praise (Is 61:3), and for Deanna Jones, this has become truth. Follow her inspirational story as she is lifted from a wounded child to a place of understanding and joy as a woman of God. To Be a Mother is a celebration of life, of motherhood, and the sanctity of life itself. About the Author: Deanna Jones was born and raised in Rockford, IL, and is currently a bandleader and singer for the New York-based band The Deanna Jones Orchestra. She considers her greatest assets to be her six children—two by birth, and four by miraculous adoption.

To Love a Child: A Complete Guide to Adoption, Foster Parenting & Other Ways to Share Your Life With Children. Marianne Takas & Edward Warner. 1992. 225p. Addison-Wesley.

To Love Again: A Psychiatrist’s Search for Love. Norman Garbo. 1977. McGraw-Hill. Dr. Robert Flavin had everything. An honored profession. A loving wife. Two beautiful adopted children. But it all began to slip away from him. First came separation followed by divorce, and then the staggering knowledge that he was dying from leukemia. Sparing neither himself nor his respected colleagues as he grapples to come to terms with his life, his story is, in turn, angry, poignant, passionate, and amusing as the author looks at the entire spectrum of human love.

To My Child Concerning Your Birth Mother. Joanne Green. 2008. 60p. Saga Books. Adoption is not about not wanting a child. It is everything about wanting the best for a child to whom you cannot offer the best. It is a selfless realization that, while the baby is on its way, the parent is not in a position yet to be a parent. It is, beyond question, the most difficult choice a birth mother could ever make.

Tommy & Me: The Making of a Dad. Ben Stein. 1998. 176p. Free Press. Ben Stein has proved himself a jack-of-all-trades in a series of jobs: author, magazine columnist, lawyer, film and TV actor, presidential speechwriter, professor, and television game show host, to name a few. But the career he has loved the most is that of raising his son, Tommy. In Tommy and Me, Ben Stein gives us an intimate look at life with his “angel boy.” Adopting a son in his 40s challenged Stein in a way that no other relationship ever had. Spending time with Tommy transformed Stein’s values, leading him to abandon the self-absorption that had consumed him since law school days in the 1960s. In his life today, Tommy comes first. This whimsical and warm story reveals that life can begin when you think you have nothing left to learn. Through Tommy, Ben Stein learns to value the generous, nurturing side of himself. He also gains new insight into his relationship with his own father by becoming one. Most of all, he learns gratitude for the “perfect angel” he has as his son. Fatherhood was the role Ben Stein was waiting for all his life. His intimate and revealing journey through parenthood in the late 1990s will delight all Ben Stein fans who watch the TV program Win Ben Stein’s Money and the vast numbers of parents who need to value the best job on earth: “Daddy.”

Tony: Our Journey Together. Carolyn A Koons. 1983. 214p. Guideposts. A heartwarming and inspiring story of the rescue of Antonio, a child incarcerated in a Mexican prison since the age of five on a trumped-up murder charge. Founder of the Mexicali Outreach missions program, Carolyn Koons responded to her faith in God with investigations that led her into a web of conflicting stories, bureaucratic red tape, and a frustrating legal system which acknowledged that the boy must be innocent but refused to release him.

Treasury of Adoption Miracles, A: True Stories of God’s Presence Today. Karen Kingsbury. 2005. 176p. Warner Faith. Bestselling author Karen Kingsbury—herself an adoptive mother—offers an inspiring collection of true stories to remind readers that God is present in every adoption. Adoption has become increasingly prevalent, with recent statistics showing that about one out of every 10 Americans is an adoptee. There’s something about this gift of love that is truly miraculous—that someone would willingly give a life to someone else so that they might have a family. A Treasury of Adoption Miracles is filled with true stories about adoption. As someone who adopted three boys herself (three best friends from Jamaica), Karen knows firsthand the wonder and joy of adding to one’s family. Here, she details miraculous stories of adoption, giving readers glimpses of the love and new beginnings as seen through the eyes of the men, women, and children involved.

Truly Yours: Thoughts on the Miracle of Adoption. Laura Dail. 2004. 88p. Andrews McMeel Publishing. More than five million people in the United States are adopted. Given the birth parents, adoptive parents, siblings, grandparents, and other extended family members connected to each adoptee, the number of Americans whose lives are directly, intimately affected by the adoption of a child reaches into the tens of millions. Truly Yours is a candid, poignant book for all of them, and for all whose lives may yet be touched by the wondrous experience of adoption.With a thoughtful introduction by author Laura Dail, an adoptive mother, Truly Yours is full of quotes by Art Buchwald, Dale Evans, George Burns, Jamie Lee Curtis, Barbara Walters, Rosie O’Donnell, the Dalai Lama, and others. These diverse voices share observations, from funny to wise, on the joys and challenges of adoption. The number of Americans seeking to adopt has doubled over the past two years, after having held steady since 1970. Adoption is rising to the forefront of the national consciousness. Consumer interest in products—particularly books—created especially for adopted families has never been higher. Truly Yours is a beautiful and timely book for this audience, and your customers will be delighted to discover it. About the Author: Laura Dail knows books, and she knows adoption. A literary agent and adoptive mom, she created Truly Yours not just for adoptive families and those considering adopting, but also for their friends and extended family who want a better understanding of the experience. She lives in New York with her daughter, Eva.

12 Before 40: Unificationists Must Have the Goal to Have at Least 12 Children Before the Age of 40 Even if We Have to Adopt Them. Jon Quinn. 2003. Having big families is a Commandment and Core Value of Sun Myung Moon’s Unification Movement. Read it online.

Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. Sherrie Eldridge. 1999. 272p. Dell. Twenty Things equips you for successful adoptive parenting. Many adopted kids’ perceptions of adoption differ widely from parents’. Most adoptive parents don’t know that the adopted child is a grieving child. He/she came to you out of loss—a loss than can’t be erased, but also a loss you are not responsible for. Because of this loss, positive and painful feelings are buried within your child’s heart that need to be identified and grieved. For the adopted child, losing his/her biological family produces a wound more profound than death or divorce. It can be likened to a toddler losing both parents in an automobile accident, only there is no acknowledged grief, no funeral, no closure. Just a deep wound that needs to be healed. If it is not healed, the child’s ability to receive and give love will be significantly diminished. The parental challenge is to learn the 20 unspoken feelings, create a non-judgmental atmosphere for the child to grieve and become your child’s number-one cheerleader. Twenty Things will teach you how! The response to the seminars I have done on this book have been remarkable. Adoptive parents love to hear the thoughts of adults who were adopted as children and I love being a voice for the adopted child, thus leading the parent to the place where he/she can begin to see adoption through the eyes of a child. About the Author: Sherrie Eldridge was adopted herself, and she uses many personal anecdotes to help illustrate the themes of this book. She formed an organization, Jewel Among Jewels Adoption Network, Inc., which helps educate people about the unique needs of the adopted child and publishes a quarterly newsletter, Jewel Among Jewels Adoption News. She lives with her husband in Indianapolis.

20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed. Sherrie Eldridge. 2009. 320p. Delta. Do I have what it takes to be a successful adoptive parent? Does my child consider me a successful parent? Will I ever hear my rebellious teen say, “I love you”? What tools do I need to succeed? In her groundbreaking first book, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge gave voice to the very real concerns of adopted children, whose unique perspectives offered unprecedented insight. In this all-new companion volume, Eldridge goes beyond those insights and shifts her focus to parents, offering them much-needed encouragement and hope. Speaking from her own experience as an adoptee and an expert in the field of adoption, Eldridge shares proven strategies and the moving narratives of nearly one hundred adoptive families, helping parents gain a deeper understanding of what is normal, both for their children and themselves. By first strengthening yourself as a parent, you’ll be able to truly listen to your child, and to connect with him on every level, by opening the channels of communication and keeping them open forever. Then you and your child can grow closer through the practical exercises at the end of every chapter. Discover how to
•   be confident that your role in your child’s life is vital and irreplaceable
•   pass on the legacy of healthy self-care by assessing and regulating your stress
•   communicate unconditional love to your child
•   talk candidly with your child about her adoption and her birth family
•   teach your family how to respond positively to insensitive remarks about adoption
•   connect with other adoptive families–and build a support network
•   plus learn to become a “warrior” parent…settle the “real parent” question…cope with emotional triggers–what to do when you “lose it”…celebrate the miracle of your family…and much more. About the Author: Sherrie Eldridge is the author of the bestselling Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. An internationally known adoption expert and speaker, she is also the founder and president of Jewel Among Jewels Adoption Network. She lives in Indiana with her husband.

Twilight of the Wagners: The Unveiling of a Family’s Legacy. Gotfried Wagner. Translated by Della Couling. 1999. 320p. St Martin’s Press. In his memoirs, prominent musicologist and stage director Wagner unveils the anti-Semitic sentiment that prevailed in his family ever since his illustrious great-grandfather, composer Richard Wagner, expressed his pathological Jew-hatred in his 1850 essay “Jews in Music.” Born shortly after WWII into an influential family who singlehandedly managed the Bayreuth Wagner Festival, Gottfired began investigating German-Jewish relations and his family’s Nazi past from an early age. This interest eventually made him an outcast among his relatives. Richard Wagner anticipated Hitler’s Final Solution when he called for the restoration of the German Aryan race, pure of degenerative Jewish blood. Drawing on family letters and photographs, Gottfried uncovers his grandmother’s close relationship with Hitler: Winifred was proud to have supplied an incarcerated Hitler with the paper on which he wrote Mein Kampf. Although she declined his marriage proposal, she remained the Fhrer’s intimate friend and a dedicated Nazi Party member. As for Hitler, he found Wagner’s chauvinistic ideas inspiring and his music a perfect background for military parades. We read precious little about Richard Wagner and the origins of his ideological stance, as the book mainly details the author’s interaction with his family legacy. Gottfried takes us through a confrontation with his authoritative father, academic and family research, job searches, two marriages, and the adoption of a Romanian orphan. Gottfried’s accomplishments include a doctoral thesis on Jewish-German composer Kurt Weill, whose works were condemned in Nazi Germany, opera productions in Europe and Turkey, and worldwide lectures on the Wagners. In the 1980s, his career took an odd twist when he tried his hand in banking. Thanks in large part to Gottfried’s lecture tour in Israel, Richard Wagner’s once-taboo music was played for the first time on Israeli radio in 1990. A disturbing examination of the great composer’s legacy that sheds new light on a powerful clan and the persistence of Nazi ideology in postwar Germany. — From Kirkus Reviews; ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Ultimate Gift, The: A True Love Story. Mike Sheaffer & Annie Sheaffer, with Jack Shaw. 1998. 240p. FOCUS Publishing Company. There’s nothing more frustrating for a married couple than to want a family and discover after years of trying that they can’t have babies. The next step, obviously, is adoption, but with 2-3 million prospective couples and only 50,000-75,000 adoptive babies per year, more frustration lies ahead. Mike and Annie know this disappointment firsthand. Through several failed attempts, they searched for and found an innovative but amiable way to compete. Their resourcefulness coupled with compassion, produced a middle ground solution to the pro-life vs. pro-choice gridlock in our nation. With 8,000 new, unplanned pregnancies and over 4,000 abortions every day in America, there are plenty of babies to fill the gaping void in the hearts of millions of childless couples.

Ultimate Insider’s Guide to Adoption, The: Everything You Need to Know About Domestic and International Adoption. Elizabeth Swire Falker. 2006. 480p. Warner Wellness. So you’ve made the decision to adopt. What’s next? For starters, how do you know whether domestic or international adoption is right for you? (And what are the real differences between the two?) Now, adoption insider Elizabeth Swire Falker answers these questions, and many more. As an attorney who practices in the area of adoption and has worked with hundreds of families, and as an adoptive parent herself who has been through the trenches, she offers expert advice on each stage of the process. This comprehensive, accessible guide leads you with confidence through every decision you’ll have to make—including the ones that you’d never know to expect. Complete with checklists, tips, sidebars, and plenty of counter-intuitive advice, it shows you how to: Identify which adoption experts you do and don’t need; Find the right birth mother or choose the right country for your family—and how to spot red flags in potential situations; Select an attorney or agency and prepare for your home visit; Finance an adoption on a budget, manage the red tape, and get around the roadblocks; Navigate all of the complex emotions that surface along the way. With Elizabeth Swire Falker’s warm yet been-there-done-that voice, The Ultimate Insider’s Guide to Adoption is sure to become a tried-and-true resource for adoptive parents everywhere.

Ultimate Value, The. Robert Collis. 1951. 181p. Methuen (UK). Dr. Collis found two children in Belsen, took them back to Ireland where he adopted them. This is their story..

Understanding Attachment: Parenting, Child Care, & Emotional Development. Jean Mercer. 2005. 208p. Praeger Publishers. Is maternal instinct fact or a myth? What special challenges do adoptive parents face? What kind of daycare is better, one with many caregivers or one with few? When is separation anxiety normal in a child, and when is it a sign of a developmental problem? Do the experiences of early childhood always influence our ability to build and maintain social relationships as adults? Understanding Attachment helps to answer these questions and many others. This book is perfect for the reader who wants or needs a thorough understanding of attachment, but does not have the time to indulge in lengthy study. Parents, child care providers, teachers, nurses, social workers, attorneys, therapists, students, and counselors will all appreciate this work. Mercer defines attachment and related terms, discusses the history of the idea, and describes ways in which this aspect of emotional life can be measured. She explains developmental change and the way attachment continues to alter from infancy to adulthood. The importance of social experiences with parents and other caregivers is emphasized. Outcomes of good and poor attachment experiences are discussed, and there is material on attachment disorders. The book concludes with a description of recent work that gives a new perspective on attachment. About the Author: Jean Mercer is Professor of Psychology in the Division of Social and Behavioral Sciences at Richard Stockton College and President of the New Jersey Association for Infant Mental Health. She is also co-author of Attachment Therapy On Trial (Praeger, 2003).

Unofficial Guide to Adopting a Child, The. Andrea Dellavecchio. 2000. 400p. IDG/MacMillian. The process of adoption—be it an open or a closed adoption, domestic or international—is seldom simple, short, or standardized. It can often take many years of frustrating and expensive searching before parents can bring an infant or child home, and once they do, they face a whole new set of challenges as they learn together to be a family. About the Author: Andrea DellaVecchio, M.A., M.Ed., es the editor of a newsletter for parents of adopted children with complex histories and the coordinator of the Vermont Adoptive Parent Support Network. She and her husband and their two adopted children live in Warren, Vermont.

Unruly Life of Woody Allen, The. Marion Meade 2000. 384p. Scribner.The first independent investigation of Woody Allen, our era’s most celebrated, distinctive, and confounding filmmaker, reveals the controversial private life behind the icon. Until now, there has been little scrutiny of that life. The reason: Woody viewed biographers as the Ebola plague, dangerous, uncontrollable contagions that might squish his public persona into mousse. Allen’s prolific achievements are all but unparalleled in cinematic history. To fans, his films have always represented an ongoing autobiography, through which he has bared his self-deprecating overanalytical soul to the world. It was not until 1992, when his stormy private life turned into sensational headlines, that the cracks in the familiar persona appeared. The lines separating art and fact, myth and reality, public and private life, became increasingly blurred. Marion Meade has tracked down scores of people in Allen’s life who have never before spoken to an Allen biographer: boyhood pals; Brooklyn neighbors and teachers; colleagues Buddy Hackett and Mel Brooks from his early career as a television writer and stand-up comic; actors Maureen Stapleton, Max von Sydow, and Bob Hope; director Sydney Pollack; and the film reviewers who have followed his career for decades—Vincent Canby, Roger Ebert, Stanley Kauffmann, Andrew Sarris, and John Simon. She also details the numerous examples of art imitating life in Allen’s films, particularly the extraordinary saga behind his marriage to the adopted daughter of his long-time lover, Mia Farrow. In reconstructing Allen’s life, Meade explores the cult of celebrity in America—how it is our own infatuation with the rich and famous that has made it possible for this supremely talented man to shrewdly manipulate both the media and the moviegoing public.

Very Special Child, A. Debra Shiveley Welch. 2005. 52p. Saga Books. In this heartwarming book by author Debra Shiveley Welch, we are privilaged to experience the depths of her love and thankfulness for her adoptive son Christopher. The author takes you on a journey from her and her husband’s head-bent prayers to their God asking for a child, receiving their blessing and the child’s growing years. Very touching, very sensitive. In her work, Ms. Welch tenderely tells of the Lord giving attributes to her yet unborn son while in the womb of the frightened young mother. God takes some sweetness from the Cherubs, sweet music from the birds, laughter from the dolphins, and wraps them in love from the mother placing it all carefully into the spirit of the unborn babe. A beautiful gift of life waiting to be unwrapped and cherished. Waiting to be placed in the arms of a loving mother and father. This is a wonderful work that any adoptive parent, or any parent that truly knows how blessed they are, could give to their beloved child to show them how much they are loved and how special they are. It is filled with wonderful poetry and essays of experiences shared and life lived. A delightful, heartful work that I am proud to recommend.—Shirley Johnson, Senior Reviewer, MidWest Book Review. By the Same Author: Son of My Soul (2007). Related Title: Just Chris by Christopher Shiveley Welch (2008). Visit the Author’s website.

Waiting for You: An Heirloom Adoption Journal for My Future Child. Created by Kirsten Davis; Sharon Chrust, ed. 2002. 72p. Mama Buffalo Books. Share family photographs, record personal history, and document the adoption process with fill-in pages and journaling springboards with inclusive language to fit diverse adopting scenarios, including single-parent, alternative family or older child. Adopting couples can each fill out a journal of their very own.

Wasn’t Love Supposed to be Enough?: Biographies of a Long-Term Adoptive Parent Support Group & Services for Adoptive Families. Barbara D VanSlyck (Editor), Ellen Wristen, Alan Dupre-Clark, Richard Mague, Rosemary Haggerty. 1998. 370p. Barbara D VanSlyck. Our book was written because the support group members of Charting the Course, who had been meeting for 10 years, believed that other families could benefit from their experiences. One parent said “We cannot fully express how even small victories were celebrated by the group as a whole. The group members have become friends who call just to check on one another. They are available to each other in times of trouble and in times of joy. As the years went by the members began to develop a concern for families who needed and did not have a support group to help them. The members believe that all adoptive parents should have the opportunity to share in such a rewarding experience.” None of the families represented expected the challenges that they faced. None of them understood about grief and loss, or attachment disorder, or the behaviors that accompany the child’s issues of control, identity and the effects of genetic heredity and poor prenatal care. The parent stories chronicle the challenges, their efforts to assist their children and the insights they have to share with others who build a family through adoption. One statement often made in group stands out. “It doesn’t seem to matter, what your background, education, parenting style or value system, our children seem to share the same behavior and adoption issues.” Three professional counselors (co-authors) include information to help know when counseling is needed, how to select a counselor and what therapeutic issues should be addressed. An attorney, (the adoptive parent of two boys) tells how to access academic services for the special needs child. I have included information about what the family needs to know before they adopt, services for the adoptive family and ways the family’s needs may be met. We all hope this book will prove helpful to both families and professionals who are touched by adoption. Best wishes from the whole Charting the Course Family. — Barbara VanSlyck

We Adopted IT. Io Arnolfi. 1963. 183p. Routledge & Kegan Paul (London). Moving account of the struggle to adopt a child.

We Adopted Three. Earnest Cady. 1952. 250p. William Sloane Associates. A heartwarming story of this family who found the adventure of adopting a key to lifelong happiness.

We Take This Child: Candid Look at Modern Adoption. Claire Berman. 1974. 203p. Doubleday.

Welcome Home: A Guide for Adoptive, Foster, & Treatment Foster Parents. Christopher J Alexander. 2005. 282p. Mountain West Publishing. Welcome Home provides parents of foster and adopted children with practical skills for raising children of all ages, including information about attachment, behavior, counseling, education and practical strategies for day-to-day parenting. About the Author: Christopher J Alexander, Ph.D., is a child psychologist who maintains a private practice in New Mexico. Dr. Alexander provides counseling and psychological evaluations for foster and adopted children of all ages. By the Same Author: Diagnosis, Assessment & Treatment of Foster & Adopted Children: A Guide for Parents & Practitioners.

Welcome to the Family: Adoption Memory Book. SharedBook. 30p. SharedBook. What will you remember? Capture every moment in the SharedBook Adoption Memory Book. Start by signing up for a FREE account that lets you save and share your photos and stories. Create your own customized memory book.

Welcome to Sarajevo. Michael Nicholson. 1997. 220p. Miramax. Published to coincide with the release of the Miramax Film (starring Stephen Dillane, Woody Harrelson, Marisa Tomei, Emira Nusevic, Kerry Fox, and directed by Michael Winterbottom), the heart-breaking true account of how one reporter broke the rules of journalistic detachment and saved a Yugoslavian orphan from approaching Serbs. Michael Nicholson’s nightly reports from Bosnia alerted Britain and the world to the horrors of the war in the former Yugoslavia. But when the ITN war correspondent found 200 orphan children living unprotected on the outskirts of Sarajevo, in the path of the approaching Serbs, he could no longer watch and do nothing. Fired by anger and despair, he broke the cardinal rule of journalistic detachment. He forged the name of one of the children on his own passport and smuggled her back to Britain to live with his family. For this 9-year-old girl it was the start of an exciting, sometimes bewildering, new life, a thousand miles away from the suffering and destruction of her homeland. Now, in this book, Michael Nicholson tells the full story of her ordeal.

What Every Adoptive Parent Needs to Know: Healing Your Child’s Wounded Heart. Kate Cremer-Vogel, MS, LCPC & Dan and Cassie Richards. 2008. 269p. Mountain Ridge Publishing. What Every Adoptive Parent Needs to Know: Healing Your Childs Wounded Heart is an essential resource for adoptive parents. As a young couple, Dan and Cassie Richards thought they had finally fulfilled their dream of having a family after adopting a beautiful little boy and girl. But they had unsuspectingly invited a Trojan horse into their hearts and home. While the children seemed happy on the outside, deep inside they were suffering from the hidden trauma that so many adopted children carry with them. This remarkable true-life story of raising two adopted children is a tale of hope and resilience, of two parents unprepared for their children’s psychological wounds that only time would reveal. Most importantly, it shows that profound healing is possible when adoptive families realize that traditional parenting is not enough. Because of the rejection, neglect, and abandonment they experience in the first few months of life, adopted children are imprinted with the subconscious belief that at their core they are unlovable and worthless, even if their new parents are nurturing and loving. They often decide that to depend on anyone who has the power to abandon them including their new parents is lethal. As a result, as they grow older they may develop attachment and identity issues, and their behaviors can become provocative and frightening to their parents. What Every Adoptive Parent Needs to Know offers adoptive parents and parents-to-be a solution. It shows that the journey to healing begins with moving beyond the misconception that the life of adopted children starts when they arrive in their new home. And it gives readers both the courage and information they need to create the breakthrough these children deserve. By following the threads of the Richards moving story, clarified by insightful analysis and practical advice from family therapist Kate Cremer-Vogel, this compelling book reveals how the effects of childhood wounds can be transformed with therapeutic parenting techniques. Both parents and professionals will learn how to recognize the most common signs of abandonment, attachment, and identity issues in children from behaviors such as lying, stealing, anger, and hatred expressed toward caregivers, to the inability to share joyfully in holidays, birthdays, and celebrations. Parents will learn how to reorient themselves to look at these behaviors not as reasons for punishment but as the child’s cries for help. As Cassie and Dan discovered, it is never too late to heal the wounded heart of a child with this powerful approach to parenting. About the Authors: Kate Cremer-Vogel M.S., LCPC has been working with families since 1994. She specializes in the treatment of adoptees and their families, focusing on facilitating secure attachment. Using an empathic approach, Ms. Cremer-Vogel assists parents in bonding more deeply with their adopted child. Because it is the relationship between the primary parent and the child that is the conduit to the childs thorough development and complete brain growth, Ms. Cremer-Vogel utilizes relational therapy to lead the parent and child into a more meaningful connection and understanding, deepening their mutual trust. Kate Cremer-Vogel has completed over 300 hundred hours of training with Daniel A. Hughes Ph.D., world-renowned specialist in bonding and attachment. She has also trained with Glen Cooper, Kent Hoffman, and Bert Powell of the Marycliff Institute in Spokane, WA, and Robert Marvin, who developed the Circle of SecurityTM Project; Alan Schore, Dan Siegel, Bruce Perry, Bessel van der Kolk, Regina Kupecky, Violet Oaklander, and those at the Gestalt Institute of Central Ohio. Dan and Cassie Richards have dedicated three decades of their lives to raising their adopted children, including completing several years of attachment-specific therapy aimed at improving their relationship with their children. They have worked with an international adoption agency in facilitating the adoption of children from overseas by families in their local community. These exceptional parents continue to assist adoptive families by spreading the news of hope and change on the state and national level.

What Falls Away: A Memoir. Mia Farrow. 1997. 384p. Doubleday. What Falls Awayis the story of a life, Ms. Farrow tells us, that Mr. Allen himself observed would make a great movie—one filled, à la Zelig, with events and personages simultaneously magnified and flattened by fame. ... Through it all, Ms. Farrow makes it clear that what is most significant to her is the creation of family—the birth of four children (three fathered by Mr. Previn and one by Mr. Allen) and the adoption of 10. As a vocation, Motherhood eclipses Acting. — Kathryn Harrison, The New York Times Book Review

What I Thought I Knew: A Memoir. Alice Eve Cohen. 2009. 208p. Viking Adult. From Kirkus Reviews: A blackly humorous, deeply personal story from a playwright and solo theater artist. In 1999, Cohen was a 44-year-old divorcee raising an adopted daughter and dating a 34-year-old fellow performer. Her gynecological history was bleak—a DES daughter with an abnormal uterus, she had been told she was infertile and believed herself to be on the brink of menopause. When a hard lump appeared in her abdomen, she feared it was cancer. After some absurd misdiagnoses, however, she learned that she was six-months pregnant. In three “Acts,” Cohen reveals her reactions to this news and the ensuing complications of a high-risk pregnancy, possibly damaged fetus and lack of adequate medical insurance. “Unbridled Good Fortune” ends with the author considering an abortion. “What I Know” chronicles the three anguished and often indecisive months that culminated with the birth of her baby. In “An Unexpected Life,” Cohen discusses three therapy-filled years and, finally, a malpractice suit against the doctors who misdiagnosed her. Periodically, the author inserts lists titled “What I Know,” the items of which change as she learns new “facts” and as her thoughts and feelings about the situation change. At times her humor is harsh, particularly in her caricatures of her endocrinologist and of certain students in her storytelling class. The questions that Cohen deals with—whether or not to abort, to place her baby up for adoption or to sue for malpractice—are serious, even controversial, and her frankness in dealing with them can be disconcerting. A memoir of a life in crisis that may challenge female readers to face some of their darkest fears.

What Lisa Knew: The Truths & Lies of the Steinberg Case. Joyce Johnson. 1990. 303p. GP Putnam’s Sons. She was found in darkness—the bruised, comatose first-grader who would never wake up to tell anyone which of the two adults in the small, filthy Greenwich Village apartment had beaten her. Although on January 30, 1989, Joel Stemberg was found guilty of first-degree manslaughter after a twelve-week, nationally televised trial in which his former lover, Hedda Nussbaum, was the star prosecution witness, the story of what really happened to Lisa Steinberg remains as mysterious and inconclusive as Henry James’s The Turn of the Screw, which is also about children at the mercy of evil surrogate parents who use them in their games with each other. “The truth will set you free,” Nussbaum wrote Steinberg shortly after Lisa’s death. But “why should either of them—collaborators in the destruction of a child—have been set free?” Joyce Johnson asks, as she questions the moral validity of what swiftly became known to attorneys as the “Hedda Nussbaum defense.” Its basic premise: that a battered woman cannot be held responsible for failing to act to prevent the abuse of a child or perhaps even for participating in it herself. Attorney Joel Steinberg and former children’s book editor Hedda Nussbaum were neither Lisa’s natural nor her adoptive father and mother. The loopholes in the adoption system—part of our nation’s glaring failure to protect children—had enabled them irresponsibly to acquire both Lisa and her sixteen-month-old “brother,” Mitchell, as infants. The unmarried couple would never have passed inspection, for despite their professional credentials, they had come to belong more to the criminal underworld than to the upper middle class. Cocaine dealers, prostitutes, distributors of pornography—these were the people they chose to associate with. Lisa Steinberg’s death was the culmination of years of cocaine abuse on the part of Steinberg and Nussbaum, years of their narcissistic pursuit of sensual gratification through the escalating brutality of their own relationship. In this compelling, passionately written, often devastating book, Joyce Johnson not only examines the mysteries still surrounding Lisa Steinberg’s death but also addresses the even more painful question of how she lived, in a harrowing account of what is known about her last days and hours, when no one acted to save her. What happens to a child when her life is secondary to the dangerous and obsessive needs of adults? In a time when the physical and sexual abuse of children has risen dramatically with the incidence of drug abuse, Lisa Steinberg becomes emblematic of thousands of other small, nameless victims of societal indifference and adult madness. Johnson’s acute psychological insight has enabled her to see beyond the headlines and to interpret the truth, lies, and mythology of the Steinberg case with power and resonance.

When Friends Ask About Adoption: A Question & Answer Guide For Non-Adoptive Parents & Other Caring Adults. Linda Bothun. 1987. 88p. Swan Publications. Friends and family often have questions about the adoption process, but they may be embarrassed or afraid to ask them. This is a question and answer guide for them. It shows how they can be supportive to the adoptive family. When Friends Ask About Adoption would make a good gift for anyone who interacts with members of an adoptive family (neighbors, doctors, clergy, coaches, et al.). This book makes a great teacher present.

When Summer’s in the Meadow. Niall Williams & Christine Breen 1989. 224p. Soho Press. When Summer’s in the Meadow begins following the events chronicled in the authors’ prior book, O Come Ye Back to Ireland, which detailed the emigration of a young, Irish-American couple back to Ireland to build a different kind of life than they had in New York. Having settled into their new life, Niall and Christine learn they cannot have what they most wanted: a family. Bolstered by their concerned neighbors, they added themselves to the long waiting list for adoption. It is a trying process made all the harder by their having to prove solvency—not easy without a steady income—and by having to meet with and be approved by the biological mother. By turns humorous and moving, this is a rare true story of two people reclaiming a heritage. By the same authors: Pipes are Calling: Our Jaunts Through Ireland (1991) and The Luck of the Irish: Our Life in County Clare (1995).

While We Wait: Spiritual & Practical Advice for Those Trying to Adopt. Heidi Schlumpf. 2009. 112p. ACTA Publications. Adoption is a beautiful event, and building a family through adoption is a loving and selfless act. But the decision to adopt and the many stages that follow are often pock-marked with tears, distress, anger, and disappointment. While We Wait, written by a mother while she struggled through the process herself, is a hope-filled collection of reflections on the everyday, practical aspects of adoption but also offers a spiritual grounding for frustrated and stressed-out prospective parents. Topics addressed include: Adopting after Infertility; The Paper Chase; Extended Family; The Unknown “Due Date”; Rude Strangers; and Living in the Present. Author Heidi Schlumpf adopted her first child internationally, but While We Wait is an essential spiritual and practical resource for all adopting parents, including men, singles, families with biological or other adopted children, or those adopting domestically. About the Author: Heidi Schlumpf has been a religion writer for 20 years and currently is an associate professor of communication at Aurora University outside of Chicago. She and her husband, Edmund, have a son from Vietnam. They are expecting a second child from China.

Whole Life Adoption Book, The: Realistic Advice for Building a Health Adoptive Family. Jayne E Schooler. 1993. 224p. Piñon Press (with Thomas C Atwood. 2008. 272p. Revised & Updated Edition. NavPress). What happens when, after adoption, the dream of a warm, happy family doesn’t materialize so easily? According to Jayne Schooler, adoptive families deal with a special dynamic that affects parents, birth children, and adoptive children. By being prepared for the different stages a child will pass through, parents can avoid the disillusionment, feelings of inadequacy, and resentment that can come with unrealistic expectations.

Why Do I Scream at God for the Rape of Babies?. Claudia J Ford. 2005. 100p. North Atlantic Books. At the center of Why Do I Scream at God for the Rape of Babies? is the tragic story of a five-month-old South African baby named Vyanna who is left alone in a Johannesburg porn theater by her homeless mother and then gang-raped. The story’s heart, however, is one of healing, courage and growing love that Vyanna’s adoptive mother experiences from the moment she sees the little girl. Journal entries, letters to friends and South African courts, and memories weave together Ford’s two-year chronicle of a most unusual—and rewarding—mother-daughter relationship.

Without Justice. Keith & Sharon Kramer. 2002. 396p. Authorhouse. Without Justice recalls the events of our adoption fraud trial against a county adoption agency. The trial setting interweaves flashbacks and recollections about our troubled son whose life began when he was abandoned to die in a carport immediately following his birth. These memories recount his well-publicized problems that include his plots to murder his mother, his inclination toward self-mutilation, and his violent, troubled life. The book explores the present child welfare system and its motives to place even the most disturbed children in families ill equipped and unprepared to manage them. Without Justice discusses what happens to a family when such a child is placed in an adoptive home. It considers society’s inclination to ignore, defer treatment, and abandon these children. About the Authors: Keith has an undergraduate degree in business. He has an M.B.A., and he has numerous post-graduate credits in economics and computer management information systems. As a certified public accountant, Keith has drafted numerous financial statements, including filings with the Securities Exchange Commission. He has prepared reports for and has testified in court as an expert witness. While a member of the Oregon Economic Development Council, he spoke before large audiences. In this capacity, he drafted many reports for public review. Keith published an article in PC Week magazine. While the director for the Small Business Development Center, he wrote a monthly article for the local newspaper. Sharon has an undergraduate degree in business. Sharon was a manager in the hospitality industry. She has considerable experience dealing with public relations. She served as a lobbyist in the State of California for the PTA. She actively campaigned for educational funding. Both Keith and Sharon appeared on national television shows discussing issues surrounding their son. They appeared on the CBS Evening News, The Maurry Povich Show, and Inside Edition.

With Child: One Couple’s Journey to Their Adopted Children. Susan T Viguers. 1986. 224p. HBJ.

Woman Who Watches Over the World, The: A Native Memoir. Linda Hogan. 2001. 224p. WW Norton. The powerful story of one woman’s family and the way in which tribal history informs her own past. “I sat down to write a book about pain and ended up writing about love,” says award-winning Chickasaw poet and novelist Linda Hogan. In this book, she recounts her own difficult childhood as the daughter of an army sergeant, her love affair at age fifteen with an older man, the legacy of alcoholism, and the troubled history of the two daughters she adopted. She shows how historic and emotional pain are passed down through generations while revealing her own struggles with physical pain, and she blends personal history with stories of important Indian figures of the past such as Lozen, the woman who was the military strategist for Geronimo, and Ohiyesha, the Santee Sioux medical doctor who witnessed the massacre at Wounded Knee. Ultimately, Hogan sees herself and her people whole again and gives us an illuminating story of personal spiritual triumph.

Yes, You Can Adopt!: A Comprehensive Guide for Parents. Richard Mintzer. 2002. 338p. Avalon Publishing Group. As co-president of the New York City chapter of the nation’s largest adoption support group, co-editor for an adoption newsletter, and former host of a weekly adoption-related radio program, Richard Mintzer is an expert in the process of adoption. This comprehensive and reassuring book combines Mintzer’s own expertise with anecdotal advice from adoptive parents to help anyone who is considering adoption to make well-informed decisions. It also discusses how to best evaluate adoption agencies and attorneys, and goes through the home study process and the finances needed to make adoption work. Mintzer provides essential information and takes readers through the questions potential parents face when choosing to adopt, including: choosing between a domestic or international adoption, choosing a newborn or an older child, and working with an agency or adopting through independent placement. Many key questions are answered: For which families is open adoption the right choice? Where can a child be adopted by gay parents? What costs and fees are associated with adoption? How can adoption fraud be avoided? How will adoption affect a family’s finances? These questions and many others are answered with the credible information every potential parent needs when approaching this challenging process.

You & Your Child’s Problems: How to Understand & Solve Them. Grace H Ketterman, MD. 1983. 383p. Fleming H Revell Co. Book includes: adolescent crushes, adoption & divorce trauma, autism, bed-wetting, dyslexia, lying & cheating, rebellion, retardation, shyness, stuttering, swearing, tantrums, thumb sucking, nail biting, etc.

You Can Adopt: An Adoptive Families Guide. Susan Caughman & Isolde Motley. 2002. 320p. Ballantine Books. From Adoptive Families magazine, the country’s leading resource on adoption, this warm, authoritative book is full of practical, realistic advice from leading attorneys, doctors, social workers, and psychologists, as well as honest, intimate stories from real parents and children. You Can Adopt answers every question—even the ones you’re afraid to ask:
•   When should I shift from fertility treatment to adoption?
•   How do I talk to my spouse about adoption?
•   Can we find a healthy baby?
•   Do I need an attorney? An adoption agency?
•   Can the birth mother take the baby back?
•   How much will this really cost? How long will it take?
•   Aren’t all adopted children unhappy?
•   Can I love a child who “isn’t mine”?
•   How can I ease the rest of my family into this decision?
Complete with checklists and worksheets, You Can Adopt will help make your dreams of family come true. About the Authors: Susan Caughman, the publisher and editor-in-chief of Adoptive Families magazine, is the expert the media turns to when they have an adoption-related story. She has appeared on Fox News and NPR, and in People, The Wall Street Journal, and The Boston Globe. Isolde Motley is the former corporate editor of Time Inc., where she was responsible for the editorial content of its women’s magazines. Between them, Susan and Isolde have five children, three of them adopted, from China, Ethiopia, and New Jersey.

You Can Afford Adoption: A Comprehensive Guide to Obtaining the Money You’ll Need to Bring Your Child Home. Ruth Ellen Heaton & Kari Hunt. 2003. A Mother’s Charm. You Can Afford Adoption pulls together all pertinent and helpful information to help finance an adoption. Includes worksheets and tables providing information on planning for adoption expenses, unique and insightful ways to gather and raise the needed funds, and a how to guide to implement your new financial plan. No other book pulls together the most vital information and tells you how to make adoption fit within your financial abilities.

You Get Past the Tears: A Mother/Daughter Memoir of Love & Survival. Patricia & Hydeia Broadbent, with Patricia Romanowski. 2002. 192p. Random House. The slothful prose, fashioned by Romanowski (who has ghosted books with Annette Funicello and psychic George Anderson, 1994 and 1991, respectively), diminishes immeasurably the effect of a most inspiring story. In 1984, Patricia Broadbent and her husband adopted Hydeia as an infant and learned in her fourth year that her many medical problems and lack of appetite were due to one thing: the HIV virus she had inherited from her birth mother, a drug addict who had surrendered Hydeia shortly after delivery. This alarming intelligence animated rather than depressed the Broadbents. They made themselves experts on the infection, battled ignorance and fear wherever they found it (from nursery schools to physicians’ offices), and became fierce advocates for their daughter-and for others suffering from the infection, especially children. The National Institutes of Health accepted Hydeia in one of their experimental treatment programs, and the Broadbents began their long, stressful, expensive, but ultimately rewarding journey. Hydeia herself became an articulate AIDS activist, met an assortment of celebritieswho contributed energy and/or money to her cause and appeared on countless talk shows—and even on the podium at the GOP National Convention (1996). She contributes a few pages here, as well. Extraordinary people with extraordinary experiences—all expressed in leaden prose that drags to earth a story that should soar. — From Kirkus Reviews

You May Be Able to Adopt: A Guide to the Adoption Option for Prospective Mothers with Disabilities & Their Partners. Linda Toms Barker, MA & Megan Kirshbaum, PhD, et al. 1995. Berkeley Policy Associates. This handbook is designed to prepare persons with disabilities for the adoption process along with agency and internet adoption resources. As a woman with a disability you may feel that adoption is not really an option for you, because you fear that adoption agencies will discriminate against you on the basis of your disability. Dealing with adoption eligibility criteria can be frustrating, burdensome, time-consuming and intrusive. Indeed, some adoptive parents question whether eligibility criteria should exist at all. Women with significant disabilities attempting to adopt need to be prepared to address a wide range of barriers that they might encounter and decide ahead of time how strongly they feel about their decision to adopt. To be successful with the adoption option may mean being prepared to deal with a variety of barriers. It also includes extensive information about your rights under the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act).

Your Sacred Adoption: A Guided Journal of Life, Love & Memories. Kevin Quirk. 2008. 86p. iUniverse, Inc. As an adoptive parent, or someone considering adoption, you are making a leap of faith into a world of endless joys and challenges. A world of mystery and awe. A sacred world. When you adopt a child, hearts open. Deep feelings are stirred. Things happen that leave you shaking your head in wonder. Everyone is touched by something magical, something bigger than all of us. Many call it God. Others call it spirit, or the holy, or the divine. Others have no name for it, but they know it’s present. This guided journal will help you capture and preserve everything about this wondrous time. Simple phrases will prompt you to remember, to record, and to savor your most important memories and experiences at every step along the way, leaving you with a treasured keepsake for you and your child. This book will serve as a perfect guide for any parent(s) adopting a child of any age, through a domestic or international adoption. It also serves as a valued gift for anyone at any stage of the adoption journey. About the Author: Kevin Quirk helps people of all ages preserve their life stories as a writer, interviewer, editor, and publishing coach through Memoirs for Life (memoirsforlife.com). An adoptive father, he is the author of Hello, Aibek! and Not Now, Honey, I’m Watching the Game. He lives in Charlottesville, VA.

Your Sun, Manny. Marie Harris. 1999. 72p. White Pine Press. This is the second book in our Marie Alexander prose poetry series. In Your Sun, Manny, Marie Harris has created a prose poem memoir that reveals in touching detail her story of adopting and caring for Manny, a child who was abused and neglected until he was fourteen, when Harris and her husband made him a part of their family.

Yours by Choice: A Guide For Adoptive Parents. Jane Rowe. First published in 1959 by Mills & Boon Ltd.; revised edition published in 1969; new edition published in 1982 by Routledge & Keegan Paul Ltd. (UK). Yours by Choice has long been recognized as an essential guide for all concerned with the adoption of children. This new edition has been completely updated to take into account the many changes that have occurred on the adoption scene in recent years. Jane Rowe leads would-be adopters along the whole complex route and discusses, with sensitivity and frankness, all the difficult questions facing people hoping to adopt today. — From the 1982 edition, pictured here.