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Preparing for Adoption: Everything Adopting Parents Need to Know about Preparations, Introductions and the First Few Weeks. Julia Davis. Foreword by Hugh Thornbery. 2015. 206p. Jessica Kingsley Publishers (UK).
From the Back Cover: When you decide to adopt a child, you might assume that all the important work begins when the child comes to live with you. In fact the preparation stage before is crucial. Preparing for Adoption provides clear advice on how to prepare for you adoptive child and create a strong foundation for a healthy and loving relationship. There is helpful guidance on how to prepare your home to create a sense of safety, how to prepare your family to support you as adoptive parents and ways to parent in the early days that address your child’s adoption needs.

This book offers a wealth of ideas and strategies to help parents prepare a happy and settled home for children.


About the Author: Julia Davis is a Child and Family Therapist at therapeutic adoption agency Adoptionplus and a Senior Practitioner in the Adoption Team. She has worked for many years in the adoption field as a social worker and play therapist preparing children for adoption and supporting them through their moves to new families, and also has extensive experiences of training and advising practitioners, adopters and foster carers.


Preserving Family Memories: A Guide to Creating Oral Histories. Marc A Seligman. 1997. 32p. Tapestry Books.
How will you answer the questions that your child will ask about the circumstances of his or her adoption? Your child will want to know how you felt about the adoption. Why did you want a child? What were your hopes and dreams? Have they been realized? What about the thoughts of others who were involved with the adoption, such as the birth parents? The best way to answer those questions is to give the precious gift of recorded memories to your child. Let him or her see and hear your words, not as they have been filtered over time, but as they were spoken when he or she was just a dream about to come true. The only way that this can be done is to plan now. Preserving Family Memories gives you the information you need to create a videotape (or audiotape) that you and your child will always cherish. This book gives practical, no-nonsense advice about how to conduct interviews that will stand the test of time. About the Author: Dr. Marc Seligman is an expert in the field or oral histories. He earned his doctorate in the field of Educational Technology, is an interviewer of Holocaust survivors for Steven Spielberg’s Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation, and is president of a company, videoBIOGRAPHIES Inc., which is dedicated to the art and science of producing oral histories.

The President’s Ladies: Jane Wyman and Nancy Davis. Bernard F Dick. 2014. 272p. University Press of Mississippi.
From the Publisher: Ronald Reagan, a former actor and one of America’s most popular presidents, married not one but two Hollywood actresses. This book is three biographies in one, discovering fascinating connections among Jane Wyman (1917-2007), Ronald Reagan (1911-2004), and Nancy Davis (b. 1921-2016).

Jane Wyman, who married Reagan in 1940 and divorced him seven years later, knew an early life of privation. She gravitated to the movies and made her debut at fifteen as an unbilled member of the chorus, then toiled as an extra for four years until she finally received billing. She proved herself as a dramatic actress in The Lost Weekend, and the following year, she was nominated for an Oscar for The Yearling and soon won for her performance in Johnny Belinda, in which she did not speak a single line. Other Oscar nominations followed, along with a Golden Globe for her portrayal of Angela Channing in Falcon Crest.

Conversely, Nancy Davis led a relatively charmed life, the daughter of an actress and the stepdaughter of a neurosurgeon. Surrounded by her mother’s friends—Walter Huston, Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn, Lillian Gish, and Alla Nazimova, her godmother—Davis started in the theater, then moved on to Hollywood, where she enjoyed modest success, and finally began working in television. When she married Reagan in 1952, she unwittingly married into politics, eventually leaving acting to concentrate on being the wife of the governor of California, and then the wife of the president of the United States. In her way, Davis played her greatest role as Reagan’s friend, confidante, and adviser in life and in politics.

This book considers three actors who left an indelible mark on both popular and political culture for more than fifty years.


About the Author: Bernard F. Dick, Teaneck, New Jersey, is professor emeritus of communication and English at Fairleigh Dickinson University and is the author of Forever Mame: The Life of Rosalind Russell; Claudette Colbert: She Walked in Beauty; Hollywood Madonna: Loretta Young (all published by University Press of Mississippi); and several other books.


The Private Adoption Handbook: A Step-by-Step Guide to the Legal, Emotional and Practical Demands of Adopting a Baby. Stanley B Michelman & Meg Schneider, with Antonia van der Meer. 1988. 220p. (A Skylight Press Book) Villard Books.
From the Dust Jacket: Every year, two million couples try to adopt a child, but only sixty thousand succeed. If they manage to meet the stringent requirements of social service agencies, couples can still wind up waiting for years to adopt a healthy newborn. Now, leading adoption lawyer Stanley Michelman and adoptive parent Meg Schneider have combined their experience and knowledge in a comprehensive handbook designed to help childless couples achieve their dream with speed and confidence.

Private adoption is the process by which a couple legally adopts a baby directly from the birth parents, rather than through a social service agency. Although more than half the adoptions in the United States have been handled independently in the last decade, the process is still clouded by harmful myths and misconceptions. The Private Adoption Handbook debunks these myths, dispelling the groundless fears they encourage. For adoptive parents, independent adoption ends the anguished search for a child; for birth parents, it provides the opportunity to select a family who can provide their child with a loving home.

Couples seeking to adopt also have much greater control in a private adoption. They can express a preference for a child from a particular socioeconomic background or from parents of a certain age, the types of choices forbidden by most social service agencies. Very importantly, they can influence the kind of medical care a birth mother receives during her pregnancy. Also, they are not excluded from a private adoption merely because they do not conform to an agency’s traditional, sometimes rigid, definitions of who makes an appropriate parent. Finally, parents can usually take a newly adopted infant home directly from the hospital; children adopted through agencies are often placed in foster homes first.

In this upbeat, supportive guide, Stanley Michelman, known as “Mr. Stork,” offers first-hand, invaluable advice on the ways and means to achieve an independent adoption. There are chapters devoted to understanding the role played by an attorney and how to select the right one for you, how to place properly worded ads and identify suitable candidates, advice on how to conduct phone conversations with birth parents, how to investigate the biological parents’ medical background, surviving the tense period before the baby is born, and steps to guarantee that an adoption will be final.

The Private Adoption Handbook has answers to all your toughest questions: Are we protected if the birth parents change their minds? What if the baby isn’t healthy? What are the practical and ethical limitations of specifying the birth parents’ educational and socioeconomic histories? What is the distinction between illegally buying a baby and legal adoption?

Meg Schneider, from a more personal vantage point, gives voice to every prospective parent’s fears and hopes about building an adoptive family and offers some much-needed emotional and practical support. Rich with dramatic case histories, inspirational interviews with adoptive parents, and personal anecdotes, this book clears away the confusion surrounding independent adoption and makes the facts available in a detailed, easy-to-follow format. For childless couples, it will prove a long-awaited blessing.


About the Author: Stanley B. Michelman is a renowned private adoption lawyer who practices law in Rockland County, New York. He has worked in the field for twenty-one years and is an active, outspoken proponent of legal adoption. He has appeared on television and radio talk shows and lectures frequently to organizations involved with adoption. His testimony at legislative hearings has spurred revisions in state adoption law. Michelman is married and has two children.

Meg Schneider is a New York-based writer whose infant son was brought home when he was two days old. After three years of trying to have a baby, the author and her husband contacted an adoption agency only to be told there was a five-year waiting list. They turned for help to Stanley Michelman, whose expertise enabled them to find and adopt a baby within three months. Meg Schneider currently lives in Westchester, New York.

Antonia van der Meer is a free-lance writer based in New York City. She is the author of four other books, numerous Magazine articles, and writes frequently on child care and pregnancy. She is married and has two children.


Private Adoption In Virginia. Robert H Klima. 2004. 114p. Crown Oak Press.
From the Back Cover: Private adoption, more accurately called “parental placement adoption,” is the process whereby a birth mother decides for herself what family she would like to place her child with. This has become the most common form of adoption in Virginia.

Based upon many years of counseling prospective adoptive parents, the author explains step by step how to pursue parental placement adoption in Virginia.

Topics include an explanation of the legal process, how to search for a birth mother, how to relate to her once she has been identified, how to deal with birth fathers, and how to prepare an adoptive family profile.


About the Author: Robert H. Klima has practiced adoption law in Virginia since 1978. He is a member of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys and represents both birth parents and adoptive parents throughout Virginia.


Prodigal Daughter: A Memoir. Vicki Harley Holland. 2015. 280p. Credo House Publishers.
From the Back Cover: As I climbed up to the platform to stand behind the pulpit and speak to that large congregation the next Sunday morning, all I could see were loving faces lifted up to me. I explained that I had a sudden revelation of God’s love and forgiveness that changed my life. I saw people wipe away tears, and others nodded or said “Amen” as I spoke. “I’ve prayed for you for nine years!” one woman told me tearfully.

My sister and Don had come home from Philadelphia that weekend and were silent around the dinner table that afternoon. After the meal, Irene went to my father and complained: “Why is everyone making such a fuss about Vicki after what she has done? Everyone is celebrating her coming back when I’ve never gone away in the first place. I’ve not done all the awful things she did, but she’s the one that gets all the glory!”

Daddy quietly directed her to read the story of the Prodigal Son once again, and reminded her of the other brother who had faithfully remained at home. Yes, he had been the “good” son, but he too greatly resented the fact that everyone was celebrating the return of the Prodigal.

~ excerpt from Prodigal Daughter

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Employing the engaging writing style used in her previous books, Vicki Harley Holland dares to make herself vulnerable for the sake of Christ in her latest work, Prodigal Daughter. By sharing in her memoirs, readers are made privy to Holland's life as she traces the hand of God throughout--from her days as a rebellious youth to a senior nearing completion of a life committed to his purpose. Readers can't halp but be inspired by this open and honest account to trust in the One who is willing to guide them each step of the way.

Gail Hollenbeck, freelance writer and religious correspondent, Tampa Bay Times/Hernando Times


About the Author: Vicki Harley Holland was born into a Mennonite family in Pennsylvania in 1934. As a young child she and her sister Irene traveled as the Weiss Sisters and sang in churches and on the radio, but as a teenager she fought against her church's teaching and was determined to find her own way in life. In a Salvation Army hostel, in 1955, she finally found the peace and freedom she was looking for ... and it led her straight back home.


The Promise I Kept. Adele Rickerby. 2013. 80p. Mereo (UK).
In 1991, unable to have a second child because of a medical problem and struggling to cope in a failing marriage, New Zealander Adele Rickerby decided to take her future in her hands by adopting a child from Romania. The misguided policies of the recently deposed Ceasescu government on family planning had led to the birth of an estimated 100,000 unwanted babies in that country. The Promise I Kept is Adele’s story of her nightmare journey halfway round the world to find and adopt a baby, to negotiate her way through the barriers created by red tape and corrupt officialdom and finally to carry her tiny new daughter safely home to a life where she could be properly loved and cared for.

Pushing Up the Sky: A Mother’s Story. Terra Trevor. 2006. 230p. Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network.
In 1987, Terra Trevor and her husband Gary adopted a ten-year-old daughter from South Korea. Their new daughter had a difficult adjustment to becoming the oldest child in a mixed blood American Indian-Caucasian family. The author’s birth daughter, having her “oldest child” position usurped moved from oldest to the middle child, had a difficult transition too. To add even more challenge to their family life, their son, also adopted from Korea, was diagnosed with a brain tumor, an event that changed all of their lives forever. Pushing up the Sky tells the story of a remarkable family facing incredible challenges—compromises and insights, profound joy, deep suffering, and terrific rewards. Parenting birth and adopted children is one theme of this book. Most of all, it is a meditation on the meaning of family, and learning to let go of expectations and to forge a new identity. About the Author: Terra Trevor is a contributing author of Children of The Dragonfly: Native American Voices on Child Custody and Education, The People Who Stayed Behind: Southeastern Indian Writings after the Removal, and Childhood Brain and Spinal Cord Tumors: A Guide for Families, Friends and Caregivers. Her articles and essays are published in Adoptive Families and Adoption Today magazines.

The Queen of American Agriculture: A Biography of Virginia Claypool Meredith. Frederick Whitford, Andrew G Martin & Phyllis Mattheis. 2008. 434p. (The Founders Series) Perdue University Press.
From the Publisher: Virginia Claypool Meredith’s role in directly managing the affairs of a large and prosperous farm in east-central Indiana opened doors that were often closed to women in late nineteenth century America. Her status allowed her to campaign for the education of women, in general, and rural women, in particular. While striving to change society’s expectations for women, she also gave voice to the important role of women in the home. A lifetime of dedication made Virginia Meredith “the most remarkable woman in Indiana” and the “Queen of American Agriculture.” Meredith was also an integral part of the history of Purdue University. She was the first woman appointed to serve on the university’s board of trustees, had a residence hall named in her honor, and worked with her adopted daughter, Mary L. Matthews, in creating the School of Home Economics, the predecessor of today’s College of Consumer and Family Sciences.

About the Author: Phyllis Mattheis is a local historian from Wayne County, Indiana.

Frederick Whitford is the coordinator of Purdue Pesticide Programs of the Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service.

Andrew Martin is a training specialist with the Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service, where he manages Indiana’s commercial pesticide applicator training program.


The Question of David: A Disabled Mother’s Journey Through Adoption, Family, and Life. Denise Sherer Jacobson. 1998. 236p. Creative Arts Book Co.
From the Author: I’m Denise Sherer Jacobson. In 1987, my husband, Neil, a computer architect, and I had the chance to adopt a six-week-old infant who might have a disability. A difficult question for any couple, but even more complex for us, because we too, have cerebral palsy. I’ve woven my parenting story with a rich tapestry of childhood flashbacks, growing up in the 1950s and ’60s with a significant disability. I hope as you read and learn about me, you will celebrate the aspects in each of us that are the same, as well as different. This is my first book. You may know my work from anthologies, The Adoption Reader: Birth Mothers, Adoptive Mothers, and Adopted Daughters Tell Their Stories or Prejudice: Stories About Hate, Ignorance, Revelation, and Transformation. Susan Wadia-Ells, The Adoption Reader editor says, “Sherer Jacobson’s beautifully written memoir carries us to the deep roots of motherhood and what it means to love another person...” Feminist author Sandy Boucher says, “Sherer Jacobson’s writing touches the tender nerve of truth: it sings an honest, passionate song, and occasionally takes off in ironic pirouettes. Her prose resonates with intelligence and love; her vision is energized by her search for justice.” Enjoy my book. Share it with family, friends and your book club. Thank you.

Questions Adoptees Are Asking: About Beginnings, About Birth Family, About Searching, About Finding Peace. Sherrie Eldridge. 2009. 288p. NavPress.
From the Back Cover: Do you ever:

• Wonder if your birth mother ever thinks about you?

• Feel uncomfortable talking to your parents about your birth family?

• Doubt your worth?

• Wonder if your life was a mistake?

• Think that others don’t “get it” about adoption?

Sherrie Eldridge interviews more than seventy adoptees to bring your questions to light, find the answers, and create connection among adult adoptees. Discover freedom in the unity and in your unique life purpose as you realize your value in life. For five years, Twenty Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make has affected the lives of adoptees and their families. This updated edition goes deeper with study questions for support groups or personal use.


About the Author: Sherrie Eldridge is an internationally known speaker and author of books about adoption. Her best seller, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wished Their Adoptive Parents Knew, is in its ninth year of publication and has sold more than 130,000 copies. By blending biblical truths with life-changing principles, Sherrie helps parents see adoption from their child’s viewpoint. Her passion is to deepen relationships between parents and their adopted children.


By the Same Author: Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew (1999, Dell Trade Paperback); Twenty Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make (2003, Piñon Press); Forever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children (2007, EMK Press); Twenty Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed (2009, Delta); Under His Wings: Truths to Heal Adopted, Orphaned, and Waiting Children’s Hearts (with Beth Willis Miller; 2012, Jewel Among Jewels Resources); and Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish: A Daily Devotional for Adoptive and Birth Parents (2015, New Hope Publishers), among others.


The Questions Children Ask: And the Answers to Those “Hard” Questions About Divorce, Adoption, Race, Religion, Life and Death. Murray Polner & Arthur Barron. 1964. 210p. Macmillan.
Compiler’s Note: The chapter on adoption appears in the Table of Contents under the Section called “Human Relationships: The Home” and encompasses 28 pages, from pp. 71-99, the entirety of which can be read online at archive.org. Having read it myself, it appears that the only question specific to adoption is whether, when and/or how to inform an adopted child of its adoption. The chapter also incorporates a reprint of a piece entitled “To My Adopted Daughter: I Wish I Hadn’t Told You” by Henrietta Sloane Whitmore, which appeared in the September 1959 issue of McCall’s.

The Quiet Leading. Scott Winters. 2013. 288p. Deep River Books.
One of the greatest ways God reveals himself to us is through the people he brings into our lives. These spiritually affirming relationships often spring from surprising sources at unexpected times. God knows of the struggles we face in this broken world. His love for us shines through the encouragement and wisdom we receive from those who invest in our journey.. our mentors. In The Quiet Leading, Scott Winters shares his powerful testimony of two such mentors. The first introduces Scott to a much deeper walk with the Lord. But when this mentor is attacked and killed by a bear, Scott is left to pick up the pieces. On cue, God delivers a new spiritual advisor, who helps strengthen Scott’s faith by showing that God has a plan for his life, to give him hope and a future. God loves to bring triumph out of tragedy, to give us “beauty for ashes,” as the prophet Isaiah puts it. The Quiet Leading is a story of encouragement, hope, and healing through powerful relationships. Scott Winters’ story shows us that God answers prayers, soothes deep hurts, and works continually to bring us into the likeness of His son Jesus Christ through the events and relationships of our lives. About the Author: Scott Winters holds a bachelor’s degree in education and a master’s degree in exegetical theology. He spent two years as an associate pastor and has twenty-five years’ experience teaching and administrating in Christian schools. Scott makes his home in Oregon with his wife, Debbie, and their six adopted children.

Quintana and Friends. John Gregory Dunne. 1978. 262p. EP Dutton & Co.
From the Dust Jacket: Quintana & Friends is John Gregory Dunne’s first book since his bestselling novel True Confessions. Long regarded as one of our finest reporters, he is noted for his ironic wit and his keen ability to capture the nuances of any scene or situation he covers. This is his first collection of the nonfiction pieces he has written over the past fifteen years, and it is a brilliant book. Underlying its four sections (“Software,” “Hardware,” “Tinsel” and “Continental Drift”) is a single thread: the confrontation between a transplanted Easterner’s sensibilities and the culture of the contemporary West.

Dunne finds his subjects in a tiny desert community on the edge of Death Valley, in a missile silo in Montana, in a town on San Francisco Bay with memories of being leveled during a World War II munitions explosion. He inhales the aroma of a small-time fight club; he experiences the doldrums of a road trip with a big-league baseball team; he visits a private detective who specializes in lost cat capers and spends the day with a stunt man who falls on his head for a living.

Throughout the section called “Hardware,” he offers an insightful and compassionate view of certain volatile issues of the sixties. In the wonderfully sardonic essays in “Tinsel,” he is able, as observer and more importantly as participant, to reflect coolly on Hollywood and the film business from the inside out. And in the two memorable title pieces, he explores the nature of a guarded friendship between two men and what it means to him to be the father of an adopted daughter.

The thirty-three essays in Quintana & Friends appeared (sometimes in slightly different form) in such publications as the old Saturday Evening Post, Esquire, the Atlantic Monthly and New York. Taken together, they represent John Gregory Dunne at his best—which is to say, a remarkably perceptive and highly entertaining look at American life.


About the Author: John Gregory Dunne lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Joan Didion, and their daughter, Quintana. He is the author, most recently, of the novel True Confessions, as well as Vegas, The Studio and Delano.


By the Same Author: Dutch Shea, Jr. (1982, Linden Press); Playland (1994, Random House); and Regards: The Selected Nonfiction of John Gregory Dunne (2006, Thunder’s Mouth Press), among others.


Compiler’s Note: See, particularly, “Quintana” (pp. 3-9), which originally appeared in the June 1977 issue of Esquire; see also, “Buck” (pp. 14-26), which originally appeared in the July 30, 1966 issue of The Saturday Evening Post.

See also, Blue Nights by Joan Didion (2011, Knopf).


Rainbows from Heaven: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love That Created a Family. Lynn Ellen Doxon. 2004. 266p. Artemesia Publishing.
From the Dust Jacket: Families are made in Heaven.

That was never so apparent as it was for Lynn Ellen Doxon and Robert Habiger in the creation of their family through the adoption of Anastasia, Janalyn and Lydia. Lynn and Robert’s journey takes them halfway around the world to Ukraine, and lasts for two and a half years. In that time they learn lessons of perseverance, faith, love, hope and surrender to God’s will. The laws and economy of Ukraine are unstable, the officials fearful and suspicious and the circumstances wearisome. At times is seems like the whole world is attempting to block the adoption.

Lynn describes how a couple grew in ways they never expected when they set out to adopt just one unwanted child, how three beautiful girls found their family, and how one region of Ukraine was opened up to foreign adoption despite fearsome opposition.

The story also covers the lives of the three girls, Anastasia, Snijana and Irena. They begged in the streets to get enough to eat and were cared for by an older brother and sister when their mother was drunk or absent, which was nearly all the time. Then one day a dog attacked Snijana. The authorities came to investigate and the girls were taken to the regional orphanage for children under four. Life in the orphanage was not easy but Anastasia and Snijana were soon favorites of the staff.

Then came the visit from a strange woman and the girls were told she would be their new Mama. They would be getting a Mama! Best of all, they would have a Papa too! Their new Mama and Papa were very nice; but as time went by, their Mama and Papa didn’t take them away from the orphanage. Snijana didn’t believe they would ever leave, while Anastasia and her youngest sister Irena never gave up in their belief that their Mama and Papa would come and get them.

Lynn shares the humor, the joy, the fear and the anger she experienced in the process of adopting her daughters. She opens herself up, showing that while she and Robert did not do everything right, continued trust in each other, prayer and belief in their love for the girls would see Lynn’s dream of a family come true.


About the Author: Since moving to Albuquerque, Lynn Ellen Doxon has worked as an Urban Horticultural Specialist for New Mexico State University, helped Robert build and maintain a business and written a weekly column on gardening for the Albuquerque Journal.

Along with her weekly column, Lynn has also written articles for many magazines and technical journals including Modern Liturgy, HortTechnology, Environment and Art Letter, HortScience and Journal of Therapeutic Horticulture. She has written two previous books, High Desert Yards and Gardens and The Alcohol Fuel Handbook.


Raising Abel. Carolyn Nash (pseudonym). 2011. 240p. CreateSpace.
From the Back Cover: By age 37, Carolyn Nash had put away her lifelong dream of marrying and having children. Men were friends, never lovers. No child would ever stretch their arms up to her, joyfully crying, “Mommy!” No tears need be shed. Things were the way they were.

So there was no risk in Carolyn’s attending a meeting about adoption with a friend who was contemplating it. Certainly, filling out an application to adopt wasn’t a commitment. Obtaining a foster care license was simply a formality. Walking out of the children’s shelter with three-year-old Abel’s tiny hand swallowed in hers?

Oh yeah. That changed everything.

So began an 18-year journey they could only have taken together, one that led them through Abel’s disclosures of horrific abuse, Carolyn’s recovered memories of her own abuse, violence, destruction, police interventions, hospitalizations, suicide attempts, and ultimately, a happiness neither one of them could have anticipated was possible. No true story is perfect. But their childhood abusers did not destroy their ability to love, and the bond Abel and Carolyn forged remains intact through the challenges they continue to face.


Raising Adopted Children: A Manual For Adoptive Parents. Lois Ruskai Melina. 1986. 274p. (1998. 400p. Revised edition. Collins) Solstice Press.
From the Back Cover: In this completely revised and updated edition of Raising Adopted Children, Lois Melina, editor of Adopted Child newsletter and the mother of two children by adoption, draws on the latest research, psychology, sociology, and medicine to guide parents through stages of their child’s development. Melina addresses the pressing adoption issues of today, such as open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption, and answers parents’ most frequently asked questions, such as:

• How will my child “bond” or form attachments to me?

• When and how should I tell my child that he was adopted?

• What should schools be told about my child?

• Will adoption make adolescent upheavals more complicated?

Up-to-date, sensitive, and clear, Raising Adopted Children is the definitive resource for all adoptive parents and concerned professionals.


About the Author: Lois Melina, is the editor of Adopted Child newsletter and serves on the board of directors of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, an organization dedicated to improving the quality of information about adoption and providing guidance for practice and policy change in the field. Melina speaks frequently about adoption to professional organizations and adoptive parents throughout the United States, Canada, and Australia. She is the author of Making Sense of Adoption and the coauthor of The Open Adoption Experience.


By the Same Author: Adoption: An Annotated Bibliography and Guide (1987, Routledge); Making Sense of Adoption: A Parent’s Guide (1989); and The Open Adoption Experience: Complete Guide for Adoptive and Birth Families—From Making the Decision to the Child’s Growing Years (with Sharon Kaplan Roszia; 1993, HarperPerennial).


Raising Cain: Caring for Troubled Youngsters/Repairing Our Troubled System. Richard J Delaney, PhD. Illustrated by Terry McNerney. 1998. 135p. Wood ’N’ Barnes.
From the Back Cover: Foster and adoptive parents are challenged by society to raise the child with extraordinary emotional and behavioral problems, the child marked by his past, the child whose future without help looks grim. In effect, we ask these parents not only to “raise Cain,” but to raise him better. Raising Cain offers a format and interventions to raise Cain better. If we ask foster and adoptive parents to raise society’s most jeopardized children, its abused and neglected youngsters, our system (legal, welfare and mental health) must better attend to the best interests of its children and of those who care for Cain (e.g. Beleaguered foster and adoptive parents).

Raising Cain challenges certain systemic failures which neglect the best interests of foster and adoptive children. It protests, confronts and “raises Cain” about fundamental, but reparable flaws in our present day system of care.


About the Author: Richard Delaney, Ph.D., is a practicing psychologist, nationally known consultant and trainer. He is a consultant to the Casey Family Program, Lutheran Family Services and to various county departments of social services.


By the Same Author: Fostering Changes: Treating Attachment-Disordered Foster Children (1991, WJ Corbett); Troubled Transplants: Unconventional Strategies for Helping Disturbed Foster and Adopted Children (with Frank R Kustal, Ed.D.) (1993, University of Southern Maine); The Long Journey Home (1994, Journey Press); The Healing Power of the Family: An Illustrated Overview of Life with the Disturbed Foster or Adopted Child (1997); The Permutations of Permanency: Making Sensitive Placement Decisions (1998); Safe Passage: A Summary of the “Parent 2 Parent” Mentoring Program (2000); and Small Feats: Unsung Accomplishments and Everyday Heroics of Foster and Adoptive Parents (2003).


Raising Children Who Refuse to Be Raised: Parenting Skills and Therapy Interventions for the Most Difficult Children. Dave Ziegler, PhD. 2000. 308p. Acacia Press.
Raising Children who Refuse to Be Raised is a handbook no natural, foster or adoptive parent should be without. Anyone who lives or works with children with multiple problems who are also frightened, traumatized and angry will benefit from the advice of this master counselor and foster parent. About the Author: Dave Ziegler, Ph.D. is Executive Director of SCAR/Jasper Mountain, a treatment program for some of our society’s most damaged children. A psychologist, trainer, therapist, and most importantly, foster parent to hundreds of challenging children, Dr. Ziegler is quick to point out that he has been privileged to have had the finest education and training available. His principal teachers have not been in graduate school, but rather the children discussed in the pages of this book.

Raising Other People’s Kids: Successful Child-Rearing in the Restructured Family. Evelyn Felker. 1981. 164p. Wm B Eerdmans Publishing Co.
From the Back Cover: Over 2,000,000 children in the United States are growing up in homes other than the ones into which they were born. Is raising these children different from raising biological children?

 YES, and NO, according to Evelyn Felker, the mother of several foster and adoptive children who holds a master’s in Child Development and Family Life. Yes, the restructured family confronts special challenges, but, says Felker, these challenges can be overcome. In fact, insists the author, growing up in a restructured family can be just as rewarding as growing up in a biological family. 

 Unlike most step-parenting guides, this book offers a refreshingly frank and positive perspective on raising step-children, advocating, for example, that these children be viewed not as intruders but as individuals with unique characteristics, needs, and gifts, Such views, coupled with Felker’s skillful re-working of classic child-rearing theory into easy-to-understand and practical advice, will be welcomed not only by foster and adoptive families, but re-married parents, school personnel, social workers, and church counselors. 


About the Author: Evelyn Felker, the author of Foster Parenting Young Children, conducts weekly workshops specializing in the problems and needs of restructured families. 


By the Same Author: Foster Parenting Young Children: Guidelines from a Foster Parent (1974, CWLA) and Adoption Beginning to End: A Guide for Christian Parents (with Donald W. Felker; 1987, Baker Book House).


Raising Our Children’s Children. Deborah Doucette-Dudman, with Jeffrey R LaCure. 1996. 237p. (2014. 2nd [rev] ed. 344p. Taylor Trade.) Fairview Press.
From the Dust Jacket: Grandparents as parents are becoming common in our culture, but we as a society do not understand all the issues involved. Situations where grandparents have informal custody remain grossly underreported. Custody battles, housing issues, prior mistreatment of the children, and the failure of social service systems to protect children—these ore some of the issues faced by many caregiving grandparents. Most of all, these extended relatives must relearn how to be a family.

This is a hopeful book of families who have weathered the severest storms and emerged perhaps not unscathed, but certainly unbowed and ready to help others. The stories the grandparents and grandchildren tell are the vivid tales of families in flux. They offer a window on life-and-death struggles—stories of abuse, addiction, and abandonment; stories of healing, redemption, and rescue; stories that need to be heard. As we accompany them on their journeys, we realize that with the merest flicker of fortune, their paths could be our paths as well.

From the Back Cover: [The] second edition [...] has been updated to include recent social developments, such as the trend toward multigenerational family living where children, their parents, and their grandparents all live under one roof.


About the Author: Deborah Doucette-Dudman is a freelance journalist and a grandparent who is parenting her grandchild, whom she and her husband have legally adopted. She has been a support group leader for the organization Grandparents As Parents (GAP) and has been instrumental in developing A Resource Guide for Massachusetts’ Grandparents Raising Their Grandchildren, published by the Massachusetts Executive Office of Elder Affairs.

Jeffrey R. LaCure M.S.W., LICSW is a family therapist and the founder and director of Adoption Support and Enrichment Services in Framingham, Mass. He is the director of the Social Work/Human Services Program, and Assistant Professor of Psychology and Social Work at Dean College. LaCure is author of Adopted like Me and also publishes The Adoption Advocate, an educational journal. He is a nationally recognized expert in the adoption field and has been featured on several national television and radio programs.


Raising Shane: Foster Care and Adoption of the Special-Needs Child. Kate Rosemary. 2008. 180p. Westview Press.
From the Publisher: If you are thinking about fostering or adoption, this is a good book to start with. It doesn’t offer beautiful pictures of waiting infants or angelic toddlers. Those, you can get from any agency. Instead, in fifty-two short chapters on different topics related to adoption and foster care, this book invites you to consider and prepare for realistic possibilities your agency may not think to mention. This book is written from the point of view of a foster and adoptive parent who has found the experience to be fulfilling, rewarding, gratifying, and exhausting! Each thought-provoking topic is illustrated with a poignant example from the author’s life, and followed by worksheets on which the reader is challenged to provide his or her own perspectives in response. In the thirty years between 1977 and 2007, the author parented one birth son, two stepsons, three foster daughters, one foster son, and three adopted sons. Most of these young people presented with some combination of characteristics that put them in a category known as “special needs” or “hard to place.” These characteristics included being older than five at the time of placement (the youngest was six and the oldest eighteen), being in a racial minority (one daughter and one son), and being part of a sibling group (the two youngest brothers). Their medical and psychiatric diagnoses include Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Major Depression, Physical Abuse, Manic Depression with Psychotic Episodes, Hemophilia that resulted in AIDS from a blood transfusion, Multiple Personality Disorder (now known as Disassociative Identity Disorder), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Addiction, Sexual Abuse, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Borderline Intellectual Functioning, Sociopathy, Hypertension, Failure to Thrive, Hearing Impairment, Rickets, and Polycystic Kidney Disease. Some of the stories are funny. Some are tragic. All are true.

About the Author: Kate Rosemary is the birth/step/foster/adoptive mother of ten now-grown children. Her occupations have included construction worker, VISTA volunteer, pastor, chaplain, counselor, a supervisor position with a statewide child abuse hotline, and director of a miniscule non-profit. She lives wit Shane and his youngest brother on a small farm with a spring-fed creek running through it, and is currently working on her next book, a novel.


By the Same Author: Raising Shane: The Workbook (2011).


Raising the Whole Child: Gardens of Destiny. Stan Oken. 2013. 140p. 21st Century Press.
A must-read book for every person who interacts with children; whether you are parents, foster parents, single parents, a school teacher, coach, counselor or teenager thinking about what it takes to raise a family, or you are someone considering adoption. The destiny of a newborn may be determined before conception. Raising the Whole Child—Gardens of Destiny, provides a clear action plan of how to ensure the beautiful blossoming of a child, starting with identifying the barriers affecting a child’s life that could lead to a life of poverty and dependence. A heartfelt book with stories, both tragic and triumphant, about children who have overcome despite the odds.

Rath. Herbert J Shiroff. 2015. 240p. CreateSpace.
RATH means “a ward of the State.” It is a name assigned to all of the orphans in Cambodia. The desire to aid Cambodian refugees launches one American family on a journey of compassion, murder, tragedy, and the occult. It’s 1979, and the Vietnamese have just invaded Cambodia, Thousands of refugees flee to the Thai border, hoping to escape the notorious Killing Fields. The acts of Pol Pot and his murderous followers have all but wiped out a generation of educated Cambodians. Herb and Jennifer watch the tragedy unfold on television. Horrified, they decide to become sponsors to a succession of Cambodian refugees seeking safety in the United States. Along the way they learn to incorporate elements of Buddhism and Cambodian culture into their own lives while facing the challenges of cross-cultural differences and language barriers. In doing so, they discover within themselves a deep capacity to help others. When their marriage fails, Herb becomes a single parent of three children while Jennifer relocates to Cambodia. There she finds herself suspected of a brutal murder. A compassionate look at one of southeast Asia’s most violent periods, RATH is a true-to-life fictionalized account of Cambodia’s lasting effect on one American family who opened their hearts and home to help, and the unforeseen consequences of that decision.

Raven: The Untold Story of the Rev Jim Jones and His People. Tim Reiterman, with John Jacobs. 1982. 622p. EP Dutton.
From the Dust Jacket: This epic biography is the chronicle of the rise and fall of an American Hitler. It is the only complete and accurate history of Jim Jones and his people, and is destined to be recognized as the classic work on the subject. It is also a work of great literary power.

Raven is the anatomy of a dreamer, a genius, a con man, a madman. It is, as well, the compelling tale of scores of lives that cross, part and finally fuse again in an unbelievable catastrophe.

Raven traces Jones’s mental disturbance from his childhood to his death, isolating the seeds of his brutality and sadism, the origins of his madness, and the odd coexistence of the heroic and ugly within his personality. It describes the pathological ruler/subject relationship Jones developed first with friends, then with his wife, then with an entire congregation; his bizarre sexual habits; and his precociously developed wizardry with words, which he used to please, flatter and cajole his audiences, from skid-row bums to the First Lady of the United States. It reveals the apathetic and bungled nature of government investigations.

For eighteen months before the Guyana tragedy, Tim Reiterman systematically tried to uncover the truth about Jim Jones and the then-obscure Peoples Temple. It was his news story that aroused Congressman Leo Ryan’s interest and led him to make his fact-finding trip. Reiterman was the only journalist well acquainted with the Temple who accompanied Ryan on that fatal journey and was himself wounded in the shootout. The eyewitness account he gives here of the final days of Jonestown must rank as one of the most haunting, harrowing nonfiction narratives of this century.

To unravel the fact from the mantle of myth Jones drew about himself, Tim Reiterman and John Jacobs conducted more than eight hundred interviews over the past five years; reviewed tens of thousands of pages of documents, hundreds of hours of tape recordings, film and videotape. Combining this with a seasoned narrative gift, the authors have produced a grand chronicle that spans half a century, presents dozens of unforgettable characters, and will leave no reader unshaken.


About the Author: Tim Reiterman, obtained his bachelor’s and master’s degrees at the University of California at Berkeley before going into journalism, first as a reporter for the Associated Press, then, since 1977, for the San Francisco Examiner. He was nominated for Pulitzer prizes for his news stories and photographs of the airport slaying at Port Kaituma and won the Top News Story of the Year Award in the Hearst National Contest, as well as a San Francisco Bar Association award for his coverage of Jones and the Temple. He has also won awards for articles on the Hell’s Angels, the Patty Hearst kidnapping and chlorine hazards.

John Jacobs earned a bachelor’s and master’s degree at Berkeley, as well as a master’s at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. He was a reporter on the Washington Post from 1977 to 1978 before moving to the San Francisco Examiner. When Tim Reiterman was hospitalized after the Port Kaituma shootings, Jacobs traveled to Guyana and largely took over responsibility for Examiner coverage of the Jones story there.


Compiler’s Note: (Courtesy of Wikipedia) Jim and Marceline Jones adopted several children of at least partial non-Caucasian ancestry; he referred to the clan as his “rainbow family,” and stated: “Integration is a more personal thing with me now. It’s a question of my son’s future.” Jones portrayed the Temple overall as a “rainbow family.” The couple adopted three children of Korean-American ancestry: Lew, Suzanne and Stephanie. Jones had been encouraging Temple members to adopt orphans from war ravaged Korea. Jones had long been critical of the United States’ opposition to communist leader Kim Il-Sung’s 1950 invasion of South Korea, calling it the “war of liberation” and stating that “the south is a living example of all that socialism in the north has overcome.” In 1954, he and his wife also adopted Agnes Jones, who was partly of Native American descent. Agnes was 11 at the time of her adoption. Suzanne Jones was adopted at the age of six in 1959. In June 1959, the couple had their only biological child, Stephan Gandhi Jones. Two years later, in 1961, the Joneses became the first white couple in Indiana to adopt a black child, James Warren Jones, Jr. The couple also adopted another son, who was white, named Tim. Tim Jones, whose birth mother was a member of the Peoples Temple, was originally named Timothy Glen Tupper.


Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter. Nelson Handel. Foreword by Carole LieberWilkins, MA. 2002. 182p. EasternEdge Press.
From the Back Cover:

Want to put together a terrific adoption profile?

Based on extensive interviews with social workers, adoption attorneys, agency personnel, counselors, and birtparents, Reaching Out will help you know your audience, clarify your goals, and have confidence in what you present.

It’s a toolkit for self-expression that anyone can use.

Reaching Out takes the fear out of the process of writing about yourself. Chock full of valuable tips and strategies, it will help you speak your heart ... authentically, clearly, and with impact.

Contents Include:

• What birth parents look for in a good letter

• Common mistakes and how to avoid them

• Tons of examples, samples, and styles to spark your imagination

• Step-by-step writing and revision techniques to help anyone write well

• Secrets of selecting photographs that work

• Hints for good graphic design

• Tips for writing with your partner


About the Author: Nelson Handel is a journalist and media professional whose print work has appeared in Family Circle, Los Angeles Times Magazine, Adoptive Families, Boston Globe Magazine, Radar, This Old House Magazine, Yahoo Internet Life, Los Angeles Magazine, Offspring, Fine Gardening, The Walrus, and many others. His work has also been heard on NPR’s Morning Edition. He gives workshops in Dear Birthmother letter writing at RESOLVE conferences and adoption agencies throughout the country. A parent by adoption, he lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Elicia, and their son, Charlie.


Reaching Out to Children with FAS/FAE: A Handbook for Teachers, Counselors, and Parents Who Live and Work with Children Affected by Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Effects. Diane Davis. 1994. 224p. Center for Applied Research in Education.
Reaching Out to Children With FAS/FAE is written specifically for those who parent, caretake, teach, or counsel children with fetal alcohol syndrome and fetal alcohol effects. The book includes an overview of what causes fetal alcohol syndrome, how it is diagnosed, and what characteristics are commonly seen in these children. It also offers many suggestions and hands-on techniques for establishing guidelines at home and school, reinforcing appropriate behaviors, dealing effectively with inappropriate behaviors, building self-esteem, diffusing anger outbursts, and teaching social skills and basic life skills. The book offers hope to adults who are searching for effective ways to guide and care for children with FAS/FAE. Much of the author’s information is based on interviews she has conducted with parents (both biological and adoptive/foster) of children with FAS/FAE, and her own experiences as a school counselor (grades K-12) and a child and family therapist.

Reader’s Guide to Books on Post-Adoption Issues. Michelle Carlini. 1984. Morning Side (Canada).
A comprehensive bibliography that deals with all aspects of adoption and all members of the adoption triad. This book must be directly ordered from Morning Side Publishing, P.O. Box 21071, Saanichton, R.P.O. Saanichton, B.C., V8M 2C3, Canada. The Phone number listed is 250-652-3284. Be aware that this information may change in the future.

Ready or Not: 30-Day Discovery for Foster and Adoptive Parents. Pam Parish. Foreword by Sandra Stanley. 2014. 188p. Ready or Not Resources.
Entering the journey of foster care and adoption can be one of the most daunting decisions that you make as a parent. Parenting a child who has experienced trauma and loss is a rewarding experience, but it’s not easy. In this biblically centered and straightforward book, Pam Parish helps parents to:
~ Consider the impact of foster care and adoption on their lives and families.
~ Discuss their fears and concerns with their spouse, friend, or small group.
~ Explore foster care and adoption through the lens of scripture.
~ Evaluate their motives and expectations for the foster care and adoption experience.
Ready or Not: 30-day Discovery is sure to challenge, inspire and encourage you in your foster care and adoption journey.

Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child. Holly Van Gulden & Lisa M Bartels-Rabb. 1993. 279p. Crossroad.
From the Publisher: Real Parents, Real Children offers insight into how adopted children commonly think and feel about being adopted. It explains how and why adopted children grieve for their birth parents and suggests ways that adoptive parents can help them to come to a healthy resolution of this grief. This book offers confidence and assurance, as well as sought-after answers to lifelong questions.

About the Author: Holly Van Gulden is a nationally recognized adoption counselor.

Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb is an award-winning writer and editor. Bothe authors live in Minneapolis.


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