About the Author: Deborah Valentine, M.S.S.W., Ph.D., is Associate Professor at the University of South Carolina, College of Social Work in Columbia. She has been published on issues of child maltreatment, family violence, developmental processes of pregnancy and family relations. She has recently completed research projects investigating the emotional impact of infertility and factors associated with disrupted adoptive placements. Dr. Valentine is the Managing Editor of Arete: Journal of the College of Social Work, University of South Carolina.

The Infertility Answer Book answers your questions regarding the advantages and disadvantages involved with all of the options available.

■ How do I find an egg donor? ■ Will my insurance cover fertility treatments? ■ What happens in cryopreservation if a parent dies? ■ What are the risks with using a surrogate?

■ Should I also be trying adoption? ■ What laws are involved with insemination? ■ How do I keep embryo donation private? ■ When should I discuss my ART choice with my child?

The Infertility Answer Book is your complete guide to the family-building possibilities beyond traditional pregnancy.

About the Author: Brette McWhorter Sember received her J.D. from the State University of New York at Buffalo and practiced in New York state before leaving her practice to become a writer. She is the author of more than twenty books, including how to Parent with Your Ex: Working Together for Your Child's Best Interest. She is a member of ASJA (American Society of Journalist and Authors) and AHCJ (Association of Health Care Journalists). She is the recipient of the 1999 Media Award from Family and Home Network (formerly Mothers at Home).

Sember has extensive training in cases involving children and was on the Law Guardian panel in three counties. Her practice included adoptions, which she found to be the happiest cases to take place in Family Court. She is also a trained family mediator and is experienced in a wide variety of family issues. Children have always been her main focus throughout her career.

Sember writes and speaks often about children and family. Her work has appeared in magazines such as ePregnancy, Child, and American Baby. She is the mother of two children and has personal experience with fertility issues.

By the Same Author: The Complete Adoption and Fertility Legal Guide (2004); Gay and Lesbian Parenting Choices: From Adopting or Using a Surrogate to Choosing the Perfect Father (2006, Career Press); The Adoption Answer Book (2007); Unmarried with Children: The Complete Guide for Unmarried Families (2008, Adams Media); and The Everything Parent’s Guide to Raising Your Adopted Child: A Complete Handbook to Welcoming Your Adopted Child Into Your Heart and Home (with Corrie Lynn Player & Mary C Owen; 2008, Adams Media).

Created with the help of more than 70 medical specialists, psychologists, infertility patients, adoptive parents, surrogate mothers, and recent parents, this is the one sourcebook for couples facing one of the most puzzling and frustrating problems of our times. Includes:

High Tech Treatments ▪ Self-Image and Social Pressures ▪ Economics ▪ How Infertility Affects a Couple ▪ The Doctor-Patient
Relationship ▪ Surgery ▪ Secondary Infertility ▪ Basic Healthcare ▪ Alternative and Natural Medicines ▪ Hormonal Problems
and Their Treatment ▪ Male Infertility ▪ Endometriosis ▪ Immunological and Unexplained Infertility ▪ Medical Facts and
Emotional Aftermath of Pregnancy Loss ▪ Assisted Reproductive Technology ▪ Artificial Insemination ▪ Pregnancy and Parenting
after Infertility ▪ Adoption ▪ Surrogate Mothers ▪ Child-free Living ▪ Glossary of Terms ▪ Bibliography ▪ Resource List

The Infertility Companion will help you feel in control when faced with what can be a painful and isolating experience. Every aspect of ART and fertility problems is covered: hormone treatment, IUI, donor insemination, egg donation, surgery, surrogacy, IVF, and some of its most recent breakthrough technologies such as ICSI. Accurate and detailed, clear and thoughtful, the book will enable you to face diagnosis, investigation, drugs and treatment fully prepared.

Informed by experts in the field of ART and by her own experience of two IVF treatment cycles, Anna Furse explains clearly and sympathetically:

• how your reproductive system works

• what can cause infertility

• drug and treatment options

• specialist counselling—how it can help

• the latest technological developments

• complementary medicine and self help

• other choices—adoption and fostering

About the Author: Anna Furse is a theatre director award-winning playwright and a journalist. She and her partner, Jack Klaff, had a baby girl through IVF treatment in 1995. They were the subjects of the BBC documentary series, Making Babies.

Compiler’s Note: See, particularly, Chapter 6: Adoption and Fostering (pp. 181-194).

• Medical • Ethical • Emotional • Marital • Spiritual • Biblical

Infertility changes everything, shattering dreams and breaking hearts. But help is available—today more than ever.

The Infertility Companion draws on the Bible and on current medical knowledge, including the latest research, to shed light on such questions as:

• Can people of faith ethically use high-tech infertility treatments?

• How do we make moral, biblical decisions about medical treatment, third-party reproduction, stem-cell research, and embryo adoption?

• Is God punishing me?

• Does God even care?

• Will adoption increase our chances of getting pregnant?

• How can we reduce the stress of infertility on our marriage relationship?

• How can we keep sex from becoming a chore?

These theologically trained authors have taught at a variety of conferences on infertility, pregnancy loss, and adoption, and they have helped thousands of couples to face the future through their message of encouragement.

The Infertility Companion includes discussion questions and a workbook suitable for individuals, couples, or small groups. Full of practical tips and true stories, this book will guide couples past the ethical pitfalls of assisted reproductive technologies as they travel the difficult road ahead with faith and confidence.

Authors Angelique Ruhi-López and Carmen Santamaría offer the support and wisdom gained in their own struggles with infertility. They describe the options that Catholic couples can pursue in seeking to conceive, many of which are not ordinarily presented by the medical community. In an encouraging and non-judgmental tone, they address both husbands and wives and help them recognize the emotional impact of infertility on their relationship.

The Infertility Companion for Catholics presents a variety of spiritual resources including prayers, devotions, and the wisdom of the saints and provides suggestions for further reading of reference materials, Catholic documents, and Catholic blogs about infertility.

About the Author: Angelique Ruhi-López is the coauthor of The Infertility Companion for Catholics. She is a freelance journalist and speaks nationally on infertility. Ruhi-López is a NFP promoter and marriage preparation minister. She lives with her husband and six children in Miami, Florida.

Carmen Santamaría is an attorney and coauthor of the award-winning The Infertility Companion for Catholics. She speaks nationally at conferences and workshops on infertility. She is a catechist, serves in marriage preparation, is a NFP instructor, and is on the board of directors of the Couple to Couple League. Santamaría lives with her husband and four children in Miami, Florida.

The areas covered include:

• understanding your reproductive cycle

• the causes of infertility in both men and women

• assisted reproductive technologies (IVF and FET)

• complementary and alternative therapies

• the emotional aspects of experiencing infertility

• adoption and surrogacy

• legal considerations.

Throughout, experts in various fields provide additional insight into the many aspects of infertility, while comprehensive reference and resource sections list organisations, books, websites and products that will assist you on your journey towards parenthood.

Written clearly and simply with the sensitivity and knowledge of a person who has been there, The Infertility Handbook provides options and understanding at a time when couples can often feel cut off from their normal support network.

About the Author: Angela Hutchins was like many career-driven, successful women who thought that falling pregnant was something that would “just happen.” But it didn’t. At the age of 36 and after several long years of trying, she feared that she and her husband might never have the child they longed for. While they are now the proud parents of two children, this book is the result of Angela’s determination to provide other women with the information that she found was so lacking during her own battle with infertility. It draws on her many years of research into the subject as well as the experience she gained as a mentor to other women on infertility-specific chat rooms and websites.

Contributors:

• Tony Weschler, author of the international bestseller Taking Charge of Your Fertility;

• Marian Corkill, director of the World Organisation of the Ovulation Method Billings (WOOMB);

• Dr. Andrew Hedges, medical director of Hunter IVF;

• Francesca Naish, founder and director of The Jocelyn Centre for Natural Fertility Management;

• Joi Ellis, chairperson of the Australian and New Zealand Infertility Counsellors Association (ANZICA);

• Robin Carter, founding member of the UK agency Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy (COTS);

• Debbie Wilson, chair of the Postnatal Depression Family/Whanau New Zealand Trust; and

• Sylvia Kalms, naturopath specialising in Natural Fertility Management.

This step-by-step guide shows you:

• What the Internet is and what you need to get on-line

• How to get on-line even if you don’t own a computer or know how to use one

• How to access Web sites (over 250 addresses listed containing fertility information)

• How to use mailing lists, newsgroups, and chat rooms for support

• How to properly search the Net to find the specific information you need

About the Author: Julie Watson, a former engineer and fellow infertility patient, owns a small fertility management business in Crestwood, Kentucky. She and her husband, Matthew, are currently involved in the foster/adoptive program within their state. She currently serves as co-president of RESOLVE of Kentucky, a chapter of the national areal information and support organization.

This humorous and healing book is balm for the infertile woman’s soul. Put the jinx on Infertility Witchdoctors. Skip the baby showers. Stick the home pregnancy test sticks. Check out Duo-Disney (where the world walks only in pairs!), and take charge on the mother of them all—Mother’s Day.

We know exactly how you feel. Infertility sucks!

Beverly Barna is a distinctive writer whose personal journey will resonate with many infertile women.

While working as a marketing executive and columnist, Ms. Barna coped with her beloved father’s failing health, and confronted the devastation of infertility. Within months of her father’s death, she suffered the first of three miscarriages.

Writing Infertility Sucks! became her therapy. Other infertile women, elevated by the book’s unfailing good humor, urged her to go public, so that her wit, perspective and gentle flights of fancy could aid a broader audience in “keeping it all together when sperm and egg stubbornly remain apart.”

Compiler’s Note: As indicated in the epilogue, the author and her husband eventually opted to adopt a child from China; she then used the experience as the basis to write a children’s book, The Daughter of Dreams.

everything

you never thought

you’d need to know...

Your pregnant friends (who all seem to be on baby #2 by now) have the nerve to complain about how fat they are, how much the baby is kicking, and how exhausting it is to be pregnant—or worse—pregnant again! None of this is anything you want to hear when you are struggling to conceive. Elizabeth Swire Falker has been there. After seven years of infertility tests and treatments, she knows what you are going through. In this frank, thorough, and reassuring handbook, from a lawyer with a background in health advocacy, she shares her own personal experience with infertility and offers insight on what challenges to expect along the way—getting support, finding the right doctor, dealing with insurance, knowing which treatments to try, and when to move on.

• she helps you •

Navigate the maze of infertility tests and treatments and handle the financial strain and marital stress that accompany the treatments

• she explains •

IUls, IVF, traditional adoption, embryo adoption, donor eggs, gestation surrogacy, and the virtues of living without children

What questions to ask your doctor and nurse and how to be your own advocate for good medical care

• and she reminds you •

Just how normal it is to feel as if you are losing your mind—and your waistline (just one unfortunate side effect of infertility treatments)

About the Author: Elizabeth Swire-Falker spent seven years trying to conceive. She gave up her career as a lawyer when she found she couldn’t struggle with infertility while working at a high-powered job. She now lives in Westchester County, New York, with her husband and their adopted son.

By the Same Author: The Ultimate Insider’s Guide to Adoption: Everything You Need to Know About Domestic and International Adoption (2006, Warner Wellness).

By reading this book, you will learn about:

• The emotional toll of infertility and dashed hopes

• Ways to keep your marriage strong through the struggles of infertility

• The “pluses” and “minuses” of various adoption strategies

• The crisis of abandoned daughters in China—and how this represents a life-affirming opportunity for infertile couples in the United States

Infertility to Family: One Man’s Story is a unique book, a story of the emotional roller coaster ride of infertility told from a man’s perspective. It will bring hope to those confronting infertility and new ideas to those considering adoption. Included is an appendix listing resources for both infertility and adoption.

About the Author: Rocky De Lorenzo is a speaker, an author, and an active member of Toastmasters International. He has a degree in business management and worked for more than a decade in Las Vegas casinos. He currently lives in Dover, Delaware, with his wife Susan and their daughter Shelby-Li. Infertility to Family is his first book.

Incorporating the personal narratives of women who are members of RESOLVE, the nation’s leading organization for people who are infertile, Harwood demonstrates that repeated unsuccessful attempts to use ART may ironically help women come to terms with their infertility. Yet ART is problematic for a number of reasons, including the financial, physical, and emotional costs for women and their families as well as the effects of these technologies on the health and well-being of the children conceived. Issues such as consumerism, workplace norms that encourage delayed childbearing, and narrow definitions of family all come into play. By considering both emotional and ethical dimensions, Harwood offers a humanistic account of infertility and its resolution in a twenty-first-century American context.

About the Author: Karey Harwood is assistant professor of philosophy and religion at North Carolina State University.

Instant Mom is Vardalos’s hilarious and poignant true chronicle of trying to become a mother while fielding nosy “frenemies” and Hollywood reporters asking, “Any baby news?” With her signature wit and candor, she describes her and husband Ian Gomez’s bumpy road to parenting, how they found their daughter, and what happened next. Vardalos includes a comprehensive how-to-adopt section and explores innovative ways to conquer the challenges all new moms face, from sleep to personal grooming. She learns that whether via biology, relationship, or adoption—motherhood comes in many forms.

In Instant Mom, Vardalos shares the terrifying joys of parenthood and for the first time reveals her stubborn optimism and perseverance on her trek to finally becoming a mom, instantly.

About the Author: Nia Vardalos is the Academy Award and Golden Globe nominated actress and writer of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. An alumnus of The Second City comedy theater, she also starred in and wrote Connie and Carla and I Hate Valentine’s Day, starred in My Life In Ruins, and co-wrote Larry Crowne with Tom Hanks. Born and raised in Canada, Vardalos now resides in Los Angeles with her husband, their daughter, and many pets and is currently working on balancing her acting and writing career with motherhood and adoption advocacy.

In A Little Pregnant, Linda Carbone and Ed Decker offer a moving appraisal of their wrenching, confusing, frustrating, and sometimes comic attempts for nearly ten years to become parents. She feels ambivalent about having children; he has an urgent need to have them, at all costs. In alternating chapters, husband and wife present their own versions of their descent into medical and marital turmoil.

This is a story of self-discovery by two quirky observers, best friends who are deeply in love but who rarely find themselves in the same psychological place at the same time as the years and the diagnoses pile up. The endless parade of medical options makes the couple’s doctor a collaborator in their drama. His role is intensified as the wife’s friendship with him deepens into sexual desire. Meanwhile, the husband, obsessively nervous about producing sperm samples on demand and ever fearful that his wife will decide she’s had enough, finds himself in che grip of anxiety attacks that send him into therapy.

Written with a mesmerizing power and supple grace, this candid exploration of what infertility can do to a marriage ranges from heartbreaking to hilarious, from cynical to spiritual. Looking back on all the surgeries, miscarriages, fertility drugs, and adoption attempts, and on the small army of professionals called on to treat them, the couple examines the shifting permutations of loyalty and love that brought them through a decade of pain and promise—culminating in the quiet arrival of a child when all hope seemed lost.

For couples, for parents, for fertility patients, and for all of us who have ever desperately wanted something we couldn’t have or wondered how far we’d be willing to go for the person we love, this poignant, compelling memoir will linger in the mind and heart long after the last page is turned.

About the Author: Linda Carbone has been editing other people’s books for twenty years. This is her first publication.

Ed Decker is a freelance writer whose humor and opinion pieces have appeared in many newspapers and magazines. They have been married since 1982.