Who Am I?

It’s not always easy being adopted—especially during the teen years when you begin to have lots of questions about yourself and your adoption.

You’re not alone.

In Who Am I? ...And Other Questions of Adopted Kids, you’ll hear straight talk from other adopted kids and young adults who understand how confusing it all can be. Let Who Am I? be there to reassure and inform, as you explore what really makes you the person that you are.

About the Author: Regina M. Kupecky, LSW, has worked in the adoption arena for more than thirty years as an adoption placement worker and therapist. She was named “Adoption Worker of the Year” in 1990 by the Ohio Department of Human Services. She is currently a therapist with Dr. Keck at the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio, where she works with children who have attachment disorders. She trains nationally and internationally on adoption issues, sibling issues, and attachment. Ms. Kupecky authored a resource guide, Siblings Are Family Too, which is available through the Three Rivers Adoption Council in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has coauthored a curriculum with Dr. Keck and Arleta James called Abroad and Back: Parenting and International Adoption and has written a curriculum on sibling issues titled My Brother, My Sister: Sibling Relations in Adoption and Foster Care.

Using This Book

What does it mean to be different? How do we feel about it? The situations shown in this book have been carefully chosen to help explore these questions. The examples reflect familiar, widely shared experiences and may help girls and boys talk about feelings concerned with knowing one’s self and one’s relation to others.

There is a progression of underlying concepts, leading to the positive view of differences as factors which make lives rich and interesting. Differences related to growth (pages 7 to 9) are given first because physical growth concerns all children. Traits which are hereditary, such as hair color (page 10), follow, and specific physical conditions, such as allergies and food sensitivities, are touched upon (page 11).

Other factors which make us dissimilar grow out of different kinds of abilities (pages 12-13) and individual preferences (pages 14 and 15). We are shaped by home and neighborhood experiences (page 16-17) and family standards and circumstances (pages 18 and 19). Families are not alike in composition (pages 20 and 21), while mobility or lack of it has consequences (pages 22-23).

Children grow up with different ethnic, religious, and cultural backgrounds which enhance their lives (pages 24 and 25). The occupations of parents are of significance, too (pages 26-27). And there are sometimes special circumstances, such as being adopted or an only child (pages 28 and 29) which make a girl or boy feel set apart. [See illustration above, at right]

Would the world be a better place if there were no differences? Children readily agree it would not. And the strength of our culture, as we as a people believe, is in our diversity and the wealth of our individual contributions. Self-respect and respect for others—these are the goals we hope our children will achieve.

About the Author: Deborah Hamilton, a writer, editor and marketing strategist, is also the president of MediaMonde, Inc., a Colorado-based marketing communications firm. Deborah’s written work can be found globally in a variety of sales, marketing and public relations literature. She is a member of the National Foster Parent Association, the North American Council on Adoptable Children, the Colorado State Foster Parent Association and the Colorado Coalition of Adoptive Families. Deborah and her husband Edward live in Colorado with their adopted daughter Joanna and two chocolate labs, Bailey and Tara.

Jamie Andrules, managing partner of Andrules+Fries Design, Inc., studied fine art at the Milwaukee Institute of Art & Design and at Northwestern University in Chicago, IL. Jamie has been working in the fine art, visual communications, advertising and multimedia industries for over 12 years, and is a recipient of several graphic and fine arts awards. Jamie held executive and creative management positions for eVitro, The Exline Agency, VisionMark, Inc. and The Cummins Group, Inc. Jamie lives in both Colorado and Illinois with her husband Jim and their dogs Dori and Morgan.

While every adoption experience is unique, adoption counselor and author Barbara Burlingham-Brown presents a comprehensive selection of first-hand narratives by birthmothers who candidly reveal the intellectual, practical, and emotional motivations that led them to place a child for adoption. Though rich in the variety of stories presented, recurring themes emerge in the stories: that the child is never given up lightly, never without pain and remembrance and longing; and that adoption, although so often seen as a wonderful choice on the part of the adoptive parents, is an unparalleled act of love by the birthmother.

The book is intended for those intimately involved in the adoption triad—birthparents, adoptees, and adoptive parents—those trying to decide if adoption is right for their lives and those trying to deal with it if it is already a part. Because so many different situations are revealed and so many types of adoption involved—from agency, private, closed to semi-open and open—”Why Didn’t She Keep Me?” is also must reading for anyone who works with adoption—social workers, lawyers, clergy, doctors, etc.—who seeks a deeper understanding of the adoption experience. The stories of these 20 women will move you with their candor and their circumstances, their strength in the midst of making heart-wrenching decisions, and the healing and hope which follow this painful process of relinquishment. No two are alike ... not every one ends happily ... but all these accounts serve as very real-life lessons about choice, courage, sacrifice, and, most of all, love.

About the Author: Barbara Burlingham-Brown received her Bachelor of Arts Degree from St. Mary’s College, Notre Dame, Indiana, and her Master of Science from Villanova University in Philadelphia. She is a professional Open Adoption Practitioner and Adoption Coordinator for a midwestern agency. ”Why Didn’t She Keep Me?” is her first book.

Barbara Burlingham-Brown has three children and lives in Buchanan, Michigan.

Adoptive families are formed through various circumstances. Some who want to be parents are unable to have children of their own. Others find so much fulfillment in their roles as parents that they want to nurture and love even more children than they already have. In either case, adopted children receive the love and affection they need in order to flourish. This is the wonder of adoption.

Families today are more diverse than ever. That is particularly true of adoptive families. In Why I Chose You Gregory E. Lang features adoptive families of various sizes and backgrounds. Together he and co-photographer Janet Lankford-Moran artfully capture them in the special moments that reflect the importance of family ties.

About the Author: Gregory E. Lang works in suburban Atlanta, Georgia. He has written several books on family relationships, including the New York Times bestsellers Why a Daughter Needs a Dad, Why a Daughter Needs a Mom, and Why a Son Needs a Dad.

Janet Lankford-Moran is a professional photographer who lives in Chicago.

Most secular sex education relies on biology textbooks to give the children the “facts,” then leaves them on their own to arrive at feelings and attitudes. But these lie at the very heart of what Christian sex education should be, and they are carefully presented here in a way that gives Christian parents the opportunity to share their own thoughts with their children on this important subject.

The Wonderful Way That Babies Are Made is planned to “grow” with your child:

The illustrations and the large-print verse are designed for younger children, age 3-8, to be read aloud by the parent.

Each page includes paragraphs in smaller type which further amplify the information for older children, ages 9-14. These also can be read to the child by the parent or, if appropriate, by the child himself.

The book includes also a short section on the subject of adoption, beginning with Jesus’ adoption by Joseph. Whether one’s own family has direct involvement with adoption or not, the information will be of help to youngsters in building sound, accurate understanding of this family issue.

This book can be an important point of contact with your child, a place to begin in presenting information, feelings and attitudes which you as a parent would like to share on human sexuality.

About the Author: Over a decade ago, Larry Christenson’s first book, The Christian Family, brought him to national prominence in the church. This was one of the first books to give specific, practical, scriptural direction to Christian families. Since that first bestseller in 1970, a dozen other helpful, practical books from the pen of Rev. Christenson have joined it on the Christian bookstore shelves. Traveling extensively in conference ministry here and abroad, Larry and his wife, Nordis, now grandparents, make their home in Minnesota.

Dwight Walles, a free-lance commercial artist, has been involved in the design and illustration of many children’s books. With his wife and family, he makes his home in Wheaton, Illinois.

Cheri Blandholm is a full-time illustrator whose work has appeared on a wide range of picture books, including What Did Jesus Promise?, Lass, and the bestselling Making Memories with Janette Oke. Cheri lives in upstate New York with her husband, Glen, and their two children.

About the Author: Anthony Hill is a Canberra-based writer, former journalist and speechwriter for the Governor General. In addition to this, he and his family ran an antique shop for five years in a small country town in New South Wales. The experience formed the basis of his first two books, The Bunburyists and Antique Furniture in Australia. His first children’s book, Birdsong, was followed by his award winning novella, The Burnt Stick. He is also the author of Spindrift and Forbidden. Soldier Boy and Young Digger are the products of the author’s extensive research and travel to the Gallipoli peninsula and the battlefields of the Great War.